On growing up.

Well, today I have not been doing that great. I have been thinking of Christmas and everything that isn't going to happen. Everything is going messed up. There is no money.

I don't want anything.

Everyone was right.

My horse under the Christmas tree was a child's dream. It was very silly. Someday I will learn not to hope for silly things.



It's not that I want anything for Christmas. It's that I don't have money to give anyone anything. I don't have money to get any of my friends gifts. I don't even have money for my family's presents. I have no idea if we'll have money for cookies. I have heard that we may not even be doing stockings this year. Half of the family isn't going to be here. Why does growing up have to happen? Why can't things just stay the same? Why can't life be easier?


I hate growing up.


Christmas is never going to be the same again. ='(

Update.

Here we are in our new house finally. I'm a little (okay, a LOT) frustrated that we don't have closet shelves yet. So my room has lots of boxes still. Well, this is here. We are getting ready to start school and that's going interesting. I'm going to my riding teacher's place to visit in about a week, I think. I can't wait to do that, because I miss everyone so much! My brother-in-law and sister and neice came to visit over the weekend and then my brother-in-law went back to work this week. He left my sister and niece here.

Today, I took my niece on a walk in the woods with our dogs. On the way out, it started to look dark the direction facing the house. Rain was on the way. We saw a black snake in the grass that still hasn't been mowed and made our way up to get the dogs a drink and put them in the garage (their temporary sleeping area) to eat. Then we went up on the covered front porch and watched our first storm roll in. It was a lot of fun and we saw part of a rainbow before the storm. After it rained, the sun came out the rest of the way and we saw the full rainbow! I decided not to pull out my camera, but it was spectacular. So pretty. Every time I see the rainbow, I remember why it's there. It is absolutely amazing to think that I am looking at what God is looking at( Genesis 9:16). It's so cool and it reminds me that God never breaks His promises. It makes me smile. =)

We have a lot of work to do still. We need to mow and get fencing up. Actually, for my horse, the brush needs to be tilled up and re-seeded. I don't know if I'll be getting a horse this fall or not, but we'll have to see.

Overwhelmed

My "extended family" has lost their father/grandfather recently. Please be in prayer for them. They are some of our oldest and dearest friends.


So much stuff going on lately. I am getting older. It's really different being older. So strange. So hard. I wish I could change so many things. Getting older DEFINITELY is NOT something I'm enjoying. I hate growing up. Ugh. *sigh*