Some shots of Angel (Equine Photography)

So yesterday, I was outside, writing an email to a friend and it had been drizzling a little. After a few minutes, I looked up and saw a rainbow, and I realized I had been wanting to get pictures of Angel since she got here...so I took the opportunity with the light and such to get some shots. =)

Fall is coming soon

Already. Okay, I'm not complaining, I just am not ready to start school yet. And I only have a week of summer vacation left. =( *sigh* I have no idea how school is going to get done with a horse, though. It will be interesting.

Angel is doing great. She has been absolutely wonderful so far. I am hopefully helping her stifle injury as I ride her every other day. She seems to be doing the same, so far, though. We'll have to see. =\

I think we found a church where we live and I really like it. The people are so nice and no one cares what you wear or look like. They care about God they care about whether you know Him or not. It's really refreshing to be in a church like that. =)

Well, fall IS my favorite season, so I guess I can't complain too much. I love the leaves in the fall, and I love the temperatures. I also love the fact that the weather is perfect for making homemade bread. It's too hot in the summer to make bread. Oh, and the temperatures get down just low enough in the mornings and evenings to make hot cider or hot chocolate or something like that. And this fall, I have a horse that I can spend time with...fall is the best season for riding, too. The weather is not too hot and not too cold, and the horses are in really good moods. =)

I can't believe this is my senior year in high school. That's a little freaky. I have college plans, though. I'm just not all that excited about leaving my horse...trying not to think about that right now...
After fall of course, comes Christmas, so here's another countdown. =D

139 days, 7 hours, and 2 minutes until Christmas Eve...

God's Angel (Part Eleven)

Part Eleven

Okay, so this time, I am not saying that this is the last part I’m writing. I should have learned my lesson before. God wants me to write another part. I have had a couple of people tell me it doesn’t seem like an ending. I was asking God about whether I should or not, and He said that He wanted me to tell everyone that He has done more than what I ever hoped for.

The month of June and the first two weeks of July were very discouraging. Seriously. I don’t know how else to put it. I tried counting the days until Angel came home, but it was almost more discouraging than if she wasn’t coming at all. I think we must have changed the date four times, and I had to change the number of days higher again every time. I think God must really want me to learn patience. I was so frustrated, and it was getting harder every day. But God was there, every moment. Putting up fencing was hard work. We had a tractor with an auger to dig the holes for the posts. It kept getting stuck in the dirt and we had to dig it out several times by hand, breaking several shovels in the process. I don’t know an exact number, but we put up at least 150-200 posts. And that was just digging posts. On weekends, when Dad was home, because we couldn’t get any work done during the week. We had wiring to do still, as well as brace posts and electric. Yeah, that took a while. We had to move the goats out of the pasture where Angel was going to be, and then we had to take down the boards separating the run-in-shed we had for her. We also took time to mow the field, lime the field, and put some pasture grass seed down. All of that took all the time we had between May 22nd and July 16th, the final date we chose. It was hard long work. I spent every hour I could doing the fencing and getting things ready. And then of course, the fun part was shopping for all of my horse stuff (my family didn’t think so, haha). I spent some time in the tack shop getting the stuff I needed.
Well, July 15th, the night before Angel came home, I sat out in the pasture beside my hitching post with my Bible and my prayer journal and I talked with God. I read my story again, remembering everything that God had brought to pass and thinking of just how amazing God was in the way that everything had happened. I think I was out there for an hour or so, just talking to God about everything and how it had all come together so perfectly. I thanked Him for everything that He had done, and praised Him for how perfect it all was. I prayed that everything would go smoothly the next day with bringing Angel home and that we would have safety and fun.
July 16th finally arrived. I didn’t really sleep and I was wide awake when I looked at the clock at 5 a.m. I started my day with prayer, thanking God again for everything and asking for safety and asking that I would be aware of His presence and that He would be close. Then I headed out with my Dad to work (he has a two hour drive to get there). It was a very slow drive, of course. We had to pick up a truck to haul the hay in, and so that took some extra time, as the truck rental manager didn’t remember he had agreed to meet us before the hour they opened. We didn’t wait too long, though. We also waited for traffic at an accident site for a few minutes. My Dad made the comment to me that “I sure did pick a great day to bring Angel home.” I laughed a little and then replied , “I didn’t pick it. God did.” I had called my riding teacher and asked if I could hang out with her during the morning while Dad was at work and we got ready to go pick Angel up. I helped feed her horses and she asked me to ride her new Arabian mare that morning. My friend was coming to spend the weekend with me and she met us at my riding teacher’s house that morning. It was too hot to do any heavy riding (although the Arabian I was riding didn’t seem to think so) and so we went on a trail ride in the woods. When we finished up, we sponged the horses off and let them back out in the pastures. Then we went inside and had some lunch and got ready to go get Angel. We hitched up the trailer and then we were on our way.
It was about three o’ clock when we got there. We discovered that the trailer had a flat tire when we got there and so Dad and my riding teacher’s husband and Angel’s owner (Mr.) put air in the tire and plugged it. I got all of the little stuff figured out and got everything together. Angel’s owner (Mr.) spoke to me and said that he had read my story and we talked for a few minutes about how good God is. He also told me that when they were looking for a horse, they didn’t really pick Angel. Apparently, she picked them. We settled up financially and then I went to get Angel and load her. She walked right on the trailer and we hooked her in. Then we closed the door.
When everyone was standing around talking for a minute, Angel’s owner (Mr.) touched my shoulder and asked me if he could pray over me and Angel before we left. Of course I said yes. He thanked God for all that He had brought to pass, and then he asked God to bless me and Angel with this new time in our lives. I think that was my favorite part of the day. We told them that they were welcome to come and visit her anytime they could. Then we all loaded up into the truck and started back to my house. It was a bittersweet moment for me, because I was so excited that my horse was finally coming home. But I knew that her owners were struggling with letting her go, too. I understood. I had already lost an Angel. Perhaps that was another reason that God had allowed me to lose Angel: so that I could better understand the owners’ loss when I got my horse.
It was about two hours before we got home. When we pulled up to our house (I hesitate to say “driveway” because of its length, lol), we parked and then I asked if we could pray before we even brought Angel off the trailer. My riding teacher’s husband prayed and then I prayed. I thanked God again and asked Him to allow me to use Angel for His glory, because she really is His horse. Then we got out and got Angel off the trailer. I led her around to her pasture and through the gate and then let her off the lead rope. She walked right in without any reservation as if she had been there a thousand times. She was alert, but not at all nervous, as most horses would have been. We watched her for a few minutes and then I showed my riding teacher the place where I was planning to ride and we gave her a tour of our house.
After an hour or so, when Angel was still totally relaxed, we said goodbye to my riding teacher and her husband. They wanted to go into town and get dinner and stay for the music (we live close to a tourist site). We ate dinner and my friend and I went back out to the shed to hang out and clean tack. I stayed up all night with Angel, talking to her about life and God while she grazed. My friend stayed up most of the night, but ended up crashing because of an allergy headache. We rode Angel for a little while the next morning, just walking her because she wasn’t used to the trail. We also gave her a bath later that afternoon, which she seemed to enjoy. I asked my sister to take some pictures for me so I could put them up for people to see. Check out this website if you want to see a few: http://acceptedjustasiam.blogspot.com/2010/07/some-favs.html
I can honestly say that I cannot think of another thing that I would have wanted for that day. I’ve had her for about two weeks now, and I am loving spending time with her. Of course, I am trying to get her in shape because she hasn’t been ridden in a while, and her stifle injury is a challenge to deal with. But so far, she has been just perfect. She hasn’t been any trouble (except when I am in a hurry and have to go somewhere, of course, lol), and she’s very friendly. Her ground manners are so good. She is very gentle and she hasn’t spooked at anything blindly. She is very level-headed and seems to know that there aren’t too many things around that are scary. She really is the perfect first horse. I can’t think of another thing I could ask. It’s all been so perfect. God knew exactly what I needed. I am still so amazed at what God has done with this whole story. It was like Christmas in July.

Angel is finally home.

I don’t know how to describe this journey. It’s been long and I don’t think it’s over. But I know that God has been faithful in every single part of this journey. If you want Him in your life, you will never regret it. He will always be there and He always cares, even when you sometimes believe that He doesn’t. I would beg you not to give in to fear and doubts that God doesn’t care. As I already stated in this story at least once, God’s love is not dependent on your circumstances. It is dependent only upon the finished work of the cross. And that does not change. It is ever constant and always available. If you are struggling with things in your life, I would beg you to turn them over to God. If you don’t think that He can do anything with it, then check out Romans 8:28-“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” And believe me, no matter what you’re facing in your life, whether it be disappointments, failures, grief, or something else, God can take care of it. He will be there for you to hold on to, and He will be faithful to love you. God is always faithful. God is always trustworthy. It’s never easy to let God take care of things. Trusting God with your life is close to impossible when you don’t spend time with Him. So I urge you to get to know Him. Talk to God, read His Word and learn why He is trustworthy and just how faithful He is. You will never regret giving your life to God.

Psalm 37:4-“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

If you have any questions about my story or want to talk with me, I would love to hear from you! If you want to know how you can know God as your personal Savior and Lord, I can show through Scripture how you can do that, as well. My email address is hoofprintsofhope@gmail.com

Please don’t hesitate to write me!

Kristen Langner

Some favs

Christmas in July

Angel is coming home on Friday.

Hehe. My Christmas really did happen in July this year. My Christmas Angel is finally coming!!! =)

2 days, 9 hours, 24 minutes until the day she comes home. =) Technically, it'll be another 15 hours after that, because we won't be picking her up at midnight on July 16th. Haha. But yeah.

It's really cool when lifetime dreams come true...but it's even better when you know that it is God's will for your life! God is SO AMAZING! =) =) =)

His mercy is so wonderful. I am constantly amazed by His mercy and love. Honestly. How could God send His own Son to die for me, a horrible sinner, so that He could forgive me? Why would He want to forgive me and have a relationship with someone as broken as me? He is giving me a beautiful horse, and I don't deserve her at all! =)

Thank You, Jesus!


And it's only 3 days away!!!! =O

God's Angel (Part Ten)

Part Ten

On June 3^rd, I received a second email from the adoption foundation. They wrote with a very upbeat attitude that my vet was wonderful, but said nothing else.

On June 4^th, I went to some friends’ house and told them I was hopefully getting a horse, because I still hadn’t heard for sure. Later that day, I received a phone call from my Mom telling me that the adoption foundation had emailed me again. They apologized for “jumping the gun” and explained that their “rule” was not to adopt out horses to first-time horse owners, but said that “I had actively worked with horses according to my references.” They told me to call them for the applicant screening. It sounded like a “yes.”

On June 7^th, when I was back home I called the adoption foundation. I was pretty nervous (I think a lot of people would be). They asked me some questions and I couldn’t answer quite all of them. I asked the placement coordinator if they still wanted me to board Angel somewhere else. She said that she thought we should board her somewhere else for 3 months while we were finishing the fencing. I had to call the current adopter (owner) to set up a vet appointment for Angel and she asked how everything was going with the adoption foundation. I explained that they wanted me to board her for three months. She offered to call the foundation and call us back when she was finished talking with them. When she called back, she explained that the placement coordinator became confused and thought that I wanted Angel the next day, and thought that if we boarded her somewhere else, then we could finish the fencing and see her at the same time. We exchanged an email or two after that to confirm what we meant. All I have left to do is finish the fencing and run-in-shed and send in pictures for approval, and then Angel can come home.

I set up a vet appointment for the next day to check on the lameness that she had and get her regular shots. I was so nervous about the lameness, because if she had a major health problem that would become worse, then I couldn’t ride her. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. But I prayed and asked God to be with me, and help me to trust Him, because He had brought me this far. Well, the vet arrived and was wonderful. I really loved her. She checked Angel over and gave her the shots and took a coggins test (blood test). She had me lead Angel around on a relatively flat area so she could see her trot and find out what the issue was. Apparently, Angel has a stifle (knee) injury caused by being out of shape. The treatment is a painkiller and exercise to get her back in shape. After that, it should clear up and Angel should be fine.

Angel is coming home. I am counting the days. I would tell you a number, but I am almost afraid to, as the date we chose has already changed more than once. But God’s brought me this far. If He’s gonna change everything now, I know He’ll be with me through it all.

Well, that brings me to the end of this story. Unless God brings anything else unexpected up or asks me to write more. I have shared this story with so many people already, even though it isn’t quite complete. I am praying that God will use this story for His glory. He may use it to bring Christians closer to Him. He may use it to teach people that He really does care. He may use it to show people that waiting is really worth it in the end. Who knows? He may even use it to bring people to Christ. I don’t know how He’ll use it. But I know that He didn’t bring me through this for nothing. He didn’t ask me to write it for nothing. I am going to ask that you pray that God will use my story. I don’t care if you pray that He’ll use it in a small way or not. Just pray that He’ll use it. In fact, ask God what you should pray for specifically about it. And please, share this. I want people to know just how awesome my God is. I want them to know how much He loves each and every one of them. I want them to know that waiting for something and praying about it always brings amazing results. I want them to know that even though I have gone through pain and loss, God gave me joy in the midst of it. And He even brought me a “happy ever after” ending. I won’t promise what He’ll do in your life. But I will tell you this: I know my God cares. I know that He was with me every step of the way. I know that He cried with me when I lost my first Angel. And I know that He is rejoicing with me now.

But Angel is not the most important thing. Oh sure, I am ecstatic about having a horse after so many years of waiting. Believe me, I am! I am counting the days until she comes home. But Angel is not the reason I have written this story. God is. I fully believe that the reason He brought me through this is so that I could be closer to Him and share who He is with others. That is what is most important. My relationship with God is so different than it was two years ago. It is so different than it was in November. I have a depth of love for God that I have never had before. I have a love for others that only comes from Him. I have a peace that I cannot understand. I have a joy that comes from really knowing that God loves me and is always with me through every trial that may come my way. I cannot even describe it. After everything, I am so thrilled that God brought me through this. Oh, don’t take me wrong, it was hard, and still is. But God brought me through it. I learned so much and I wouldn’t trade my relationship with God for ANYTHING. I wouldn’t have wanted it to happen any other way. I am so glad that God brought this situation into my life, and I pray that He will use it for His glory.

Every day, I learn more about His love. The depth of it just astounds me. And to think that He loved me even before I was born, when He knew that I would despise and reject Him. When He knew I would spit in His face and mock Him. God is just so incredible. To Him be all the glory forever.

Psalm 150- ¹Praise ye the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power. ²Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.

³Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.

⁴Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.

⁵Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.

⁶Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.

God's Angel (Part Nine)

Part Nine

I wasn’t really sure what to think about going to see this horse. I wasn’t going to write her off, just because she didn’t canter, but the wound from trying to lease Angel and Angel moving away was still too fresh. And why did her name have to Angel? I prayed those next two days. A lot. I asked God to help me through this. I also worked it out so that my friend could come with me to look at the horse. That was hugely amazing.

Well, Friday came around, and I went to my riding teacher’s house. I helped out with feeding and with the preschool group that she had come out that day and tried not to think about Angel being gone from the property. It was my first time at my riding teacher’s house when Angel wasn’t there. It was not easy. The field looked so empty without her. After the group of preschoolers had left, we went and picked up some lunch and headed over to see this Standardbred mare. I told my riding teacher that I honestly was not that interested in this horse, but I didn’t want to write her off just because she didn’t canter. When we arrived at the owner’s house, we spoke with her about the horse a little bit. Angel was from a Standardbred Rescue Foundation and they had her for seven years. I looked out the window to see her tossing her head around.

After a few minutes, we went outside to see Angel. She is gorgeous. She is black with a small coronet (white marking just above her ankle) on her right rear foot and she has dapples. I was the first one in the pasture and she walked up to meet me. We spent a few minutes getting to know her and seeing how her manners were on the ground. She was so sweet. After a little while, we tacked her up and I rode her around the pasture for a few minutes to see how she worked out. She even picked up a canter for me! She has such smooth gaits. I really loved riding her. My friend rode her and my riding teacher rode her. She was totally fine for all of them. She had a minor limp, which we were a little concerned about. Overall, she was an amazing horse. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get her or not, but I definitely wanted to see her again.

Well, I went home and told my parents about her and the next morning, we called my riding teacher and Angel’s owner to find out when I could see her again. It was Saturday and my riding teacher and her husband were kind enough to bring Angel to their house so I could ride her on a flat area. I was expecting Angel to be upset, since she was away from her house and in a new place. But she wasn’t. She was very calm. I brought her carrots and apples and groomed her and tacked her up. Then I took her out to the ring to ride. My opinion the day before was only reinforced. My riding teacher told me if I didn’t get her, then she was going to! She really recommended that I get Angel, as long as the vet said that her limp wasn’t going to be a huge problem. I made the decision to get her and we took her back over to her owner’s house to let them know. As we drove back to Angel’s house, my riding teacher asked me if she could give Angel’s owner this story, because she thought knowing what God had brought me through until now would mean a lot to her. I told my riding teacher that I wrote the story to share it; I wasn’t going to keep it a secret anymore.

That day, I tried to make the painful decision to allow myself to hope again. To believe that everything would actually work out so that I could get this Angel.

The owner told me that she wasn’t in a huge hurry to find a home for her, and so she would keep her at her house until I was ready to take her. We didn’t have anything ready. We still had to mow and put up fencing and clean up the pasture where Angel would be. There was so much to be done before she could come home.

On Thursday, May 27^th, the owner’s daughter added me as a friend on facebook. I didn’t think a whole lot of it until she sent me a message that morning. She said that her “Mom handed her a stack of papers and said, "Read this. It's an incredible story." ” And she began to read my story about God and what He had brought me through with “my” Angel. Well, I knew my riding teacher was going to give them my story, but I didn’t realize just how much it would mean to them. The owner’s daughter told me that when she finished reading my story, she hugged her Mom with tears in her eyes and said that she didn’t want her Angel to go to anyone but me. Call me sappy or whatever you want, but I cried when I read that. It was so clear that this was God working in my life. I just didn’t understand why a God whom I had had so little faith in would do such an amazing thing in my life. Why would God want to bless me, after I had failed Him again and again and again? Why does He still love me when I mess up so much? Why does He still want to give me an Angel when I wanted to give up on Him? It just astounds me. There is no way to describe how I feel.

I am in absolute awe of God and who He is. I do not understand why He loves me. I do not deserve His love. I have messed up more times than I can count. I have denied Him, perhaps not with words, but certainly with my actions. More than once. I have chased other desires and interests instead of chasing Him. I have been unfaithful. Giving Him the scraps from my table, when He deserves the very best. And yet, He still chases me. He still loves me. He is still faithful. He still forgives me. He even forgets the things I have done against Him (Isaiah 43:25). I cannot even comprehend the compassion and mercy that He shows me every single day. God truly is awesome.

Well, here I am. June 2^nd. I am crazy, but I am sharing this story about her before I am even sure she is mine. We are waiting to hear back from the adoption foundation, because they have to approve this adoption. I received an email this afternoon, asking me if I would be willing to board her somewhere else, other than my property until I learn a lot about owning a horse, because they don’t just adopt out horses to first-time horse owners. I am really hoping that I won’t have to do that. I am praying that I won’t have to do that. I will be writing another part to tell how everything turns out, but in the meantime, I ask that you please pray for me. Pray that I would have the faith that God wants me to have. Pray that I would trust God with whatever happens. Pray that God’s will would be done, and that I will accept it, rejoicing. Even if I lose two Angels.

God's Angel (Part Eight)

Part Eight

Well, I thought this story was over. I thought it was finished. I had not planned on writing another part. My story was over and I was done sharing. But I forgot something: this is God’s story, not mine. And He’s not done yet.

So, here I am continuing to share what I’ve been going through. Never mind the fact that I never share this kind of stuff, especially when I’m in the middle of it. But as I said: this is God’s story. And I’m not sharing it for sympathy. I’m sharing it because I want everyone to know how incredibly amazing my God is. I want to tell people what He has done for me, and just how wonderful it is to have a God who loves me even when I am unlovable. I want people to see that God is more than just a way to Heaven. He’s more than a religion. He’s more than just Someone to call on when you’re in trouble. He is more than Someone to glue your life back together when it falls apart.

Well, I’ve been trying to trust God with what He’s been doing. But I’ll be the first to tell you: I’ve been failing miserably. I have lost hope. I have lost perspective. I have been discontent and miserable. I have dwelt on all of the negative things. I have been totally void of joy. What kind of Christian is that? Good grief. I’ve failed pretty miserably. I’m such a pathetic excuse for a Christian. But God hasn’t given up on me. He hasn’t left me behind in the dirt. He’s been there every day, every hour, every moment. At times, I didn’t think He was there. I couldn’t “feel” Him. But I tried to believe that He really was there. And looking back, I know He was. It was those times that He was even closer to me than the times that I could “feel” Him.

I know for a fact that if I were God, I would have given up on me. I would have left me in the dirt. But praise God that I’m not God!

After everything had happened with Angel, I had pretty much given up on having a horse. I couldn’t see myself loving another horse. I wasn’t really looking, because I just couldn’t. I lost hope of ever getting my own horse. But I kept living, trying to fight the depression. I did school. I cleaned the house. I helped Mom with her goats. And I tried not to think about horses. When people would talk about me getting a horse, I would listen, but that was about all. I didn’t believe it would ever happen.

I had just found out that Angel was gone. I was never going to see her again. It was bittersweet, because her owner finally could see her more often and it sounded like Angel had a wonderful new place. But I would never see her again.

On May 17^th, my riding teacher sent me a message telling me that she wanted to read the rest of my story, when was it coming? She told me God was so amazing and that she had a story to tell me on Friday, when I was coming over to see her, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to wait that long to tell me. Well, I was thinking “What in the world is so exciting? Should I be concerned?” I chatted with her on facebook for a few minutes and she told me to pray and that I would have to wait until Friday to hear whatever it was she had to tell me. I emailed her the rest of this story so she could read it without having to wait for it and then waited. Those two days were definitely not fun. I was agonizing over what on earth my riding teacher had to tell me.

On my birthday, she called me to tell me “happy birthday” and I guess she just couldn’t wait anymore, so she told me the story. There were two horses that she had heard about that she was willing to take me to see. The first one she told me about was a 12 year-old pinto mare who was for an intermediate rider. I told my riding teacher that I was interested in that one, and I wanted to go see her. The second one was a 19 year-old black Standardbred mare that didn’t canter. She had called the owner of the Standardbred and set it up so that I could go see her on Friday, because she was convinced that this was a God thing. Honestly, I wasn’t horribly interested, because I love cantering and I had never been interested in Standardbreds.

My riding teacher told me that her name is Angel.

God's Angel (Part Seven)

Part Seven

I guess I will sum this story up by saying that God is still good. He understands better than anyone. He is still God and He is still in control. And He is still working. I don’t think He’s done with this story. I found this verse recently and I actually posted it as a status on facebook.

>>>Habakkuk 1:5

"Look among the nations, and see;

wonder and be astounded.

For I am doing a work in your days

that you would not believe if told.”

I don’t think God is done with this story yet. I don’t know what He’s going to do or what He is doing. I know He’s doing so much in my heart. I hope He can use this for His glory in someone else’s life.

I went to visit Appalachian Bible College recently and heard this song. It brought back everything. The memories flooded and I was overwhelmed. Blessed be the Lord.

“Blessed be the Name of the Lord” by Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's 'all as it should be'

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

I’d like to say that I am thankful for God’s mercy and patience, because He has got to be sick of hearing about my problems by now. I’m sure there have been many times God has slapped His forehead when I talk to Him because I am being so stubborn or so dense. (Haha, if God slaps His forehead) But I thank Him for His mercy that is in the heavens and His faithfulness that reaches the clouds (Psalm 36:5). I am so thankful for Psalm 103:11-12 –“ ¹¹ For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; ¹² As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” I’m just gonna say that if I were God, I’d be sick to death of me. I’d have given up on me.

To conclude, I’m going to post a passage from Lamentations that has been a major help to me. It has been a source of strength and an amazing encouragement. To God be all the glory.

>>>Lamentations 3:1-41

“ ¹ I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of His wrath.
² He has led me and made me walk
In darkness and not in light.
³ Surely He has turned His hand against me
Time and time again throughout the day.
⁴ He has aged my flesh and my skin,
And broken my bones.
⁵ He has besieged me
And surrounded me with bitterness and woe.
⁶ He has set me in dark places
Like the dead of long ago.
⁷ He has hedged me in so that I cannot get out;
He has made my chain heavy.
⁸ Even when I cry and shout,
He shuts out my prayer.
⁹ He has blocked my ways with hewn stone;
He has made my paths crooked.
¹⁰ He has been to me a bear lying in wait,
Like a lion in ambush.
¹¹ He has turned aside my ways and torn me in pieces;
He has made me desolate.
¹² He has bent His bow
And set me up as a target for the arrow.
¹³ He has caused the arrows of His quiver
To pierce my loins.
¹⁴ I have become the ridicule of all my people—
Their taunting song all the day.
¹⁵ He has filled me with bitterness,
He has made me drink wormwood.
¹⁶ He has also broken my teeth with gravel,
And covered me with ashes.
¹⁷ You have moved my soul far from peace;
I have forgotten prosperity.
¹⁸ And I said, “My strength and my hope
Have perished from the LORD.”
¹⁹ Remember my affliction and roaming,
The wormwood and the gall.
²⁰ My soul still remembers
And sinks within me.
²¹ This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
²² Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
²³ They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
²⁴ “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,

“ Therefore I hope in Him!”
²⁵ The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
²⁶ It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the LORD.
²⁷ It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.
²⁸ Let him sit alone and keep silent,
Because God has laid it on him;
²⁹ Let him put his mouth in the dust—
There may yet be hope.
³⁰ Let him give his cheek to the one who strikes him,
And be full of reproach.
³¹ For the Lord will not cast off forever.
³² Though He causes grief,
Yet He will show compassion
According to the multitude of His mercies.
³³ For He does not afflict willingly,
Nor grieve the children of men.
³⁴ To crush under one’s feet
All the prisoners of the earth,
³⁵ To turn aside the justice due a man
Before the face of the Most High,
³⁶ Or subvert a man in his cause—
The Lord does not approve.
³⁷ Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass,
When the Lord has not commanded it?
³⁸ Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
That woe and well-being proceed?
³⁹ Why should a living man complain,
A man for the punishment of his sins?
⁴⁰ Let us search out and examine our ways,
And turn back to the LORD;
⁴¹ Let us lift our hearts and hands
To God in heaven.”

Written by Kristen Langner

Completed on May 14^th, Thursday, 2010

Verses

Habakkuk 2:3-4

"For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.
Behold the proud,
His soul is not upright in him;
But the just shall live by his faith."


Habakkuk 3:17-19

"Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The LORD God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills."

God's Angel (Part Six)

Part Six

This is not going to be a fantastic ending, because I still don’t have any answers. But I’m going to end with some verses and quotes that will I think will give you hope. First, one of my favorite passages.

>>>Psalm 62:5-8

“⁵ My soul, wait silently for God alone,

For my expectation is from Him.

⁶ He only is my rock and my salvation;

He is my defense;

I shall not be moved.

⁷ In God is my salvation and my glory;

The rock of my strength,

And my refuge, is in God.

⁸ Trust in Him at all times, you people;

Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us. Selah”

I love this passage because it reminds me to talk to God, and to not be afraid to tell Him the little things that are bothering me that no one else cares about. Next are a few passages about hope.

>>>Romans 8:24-25

“²⁴ For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance.”

>>>Romans 5:1-5

“¹ Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. ³ And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; ⁴ and perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

>>>Jeremiah 29:11

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

>>>Psalm 33:11

“The counsel of the LORD stands forever,

The plans of His heart to all generations.”

>>>Psalm 33:17-18

¹⁷ “A horse is a vain hope for safety;
Neither shall it deliver any by its great strength.
¹⁸ Behold, the eye of the LORD is on those who fear Him,
On those who hope in His mercy,”

>>>Romans 12:12

“…rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing steadfastly in prayer;”

>>>Psalm 119:50

“This is my comfort in my affliction,

For Your word has given me life.”

>>>Psalm 42:5

“Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.”

>>>Psalm 71:14

“But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.”

>>>Job 11:18

“And thou shalt be secure, because there is hope; yea, thou shalt dig about thee, and thou shalt take thy rest in safety.”

>>>Hebrews 6:19

“Which hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast, and which entereth into that within the veil;”

>>>Ecclesiastes 9:4a

“For to him that is joined to all the living there is hope…”

>>>Hebrews 10:23

“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful.”

>>>Psalm 71:5

“For You are my hope, O Lord GOD;

You are my trust from my youth.”

Reading the above verses, the first thing I think I need to realize is that true hope is from God. God gives me hope. I am void of true hope-hopeless-without Him. I also think I need to realize that true hope is in God. You know something cool? When you place your hope in God, you’ll never be disappointed. I’m not saying that if you ask God for something you want, that He’s going to necessarily give it to you (You’d better re-read this whole story if you think that). But we have a “hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast,” (Hebrews 6:19). This hope that is spoken of is the hope of our Salvation. We are secure in God’s Salvation. We’ll never lose it.

Here are a couple of passages that I would like to share about comfort.

>>>Isaiah 51:3

“For the LORD will comfort Zion,

He will comfort all her waste places;

He will make her wilderness like Eden,

And her desert like the garden of the LORD;

Joy and gladness will be found in it,

Thanksgiving and the voice of melody.”

>>>2 Corinthians 1:3-10

“³ Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, ⁴ who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. ⁵For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. ⁶If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. ⁷Our hope for you is unshaken, for we know that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in our comfort. ⁸For we do not want you to be ignorant, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. ⁹Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. ¹⁰ He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will deliver us again.”

>>>2 Kings 20:5

“Thus saith the LORD, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee: on the third day thou shalt go up unto the house of the LORD.”

>>>Psalm 119:71

“It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.”

>>>Isaiah 40:11

“He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.”

>>>Isaiah 46:4

“And even to your old age I am he; and even to hoar hairs will I carry you: I have made, and I will bear; even I will carry, and will deliver you.”

Matthew 11:28-29

“ ²⁸Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”

Maybe this story isn’t meant to be about understanding. Maybe it’s not about knowing why. Maybe I really will never know why God brought this into my life. Maybe this is something that God can use in someone else’ s life. This is what I’d like to be able to say-

“It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.” (Psalm 119:71)

God's Angel (Part Five)

Part Five

It took me a while to get past those questions. I don’t think that God ever wants people to be hurt. I don’t think He ever wants us to go through pain. Which lead me to ask why He would allow it to happen. He has the power to stop the pain. Why would He let it happen if He loves me so much? He knew how much I loved Angel. He knew how much I wanted her. He knew how I would feel. He knew how I would react. He knew how often I had prayed about her. How could He allow something like that to happen to me if He loves me so much?

But something I’m learning: God’s love is not dependent on other Christians. God’s love is not dependent on what happens in my life. God’s love is dependent on one thing and one thing only. Jesus Christ’s love was completed and proven upon the cross of Jesus Christ 2000 years ago. “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

I guess my biggest question to God is this: “Why did You bring it up in the first place?” He knew how much I loved her. He knew how I would react and how I would feel. My only thought is that He wanted to use it in my life to make me more like Him. My greatest desire is to be like Him. But couldn’t He have used something else to make me more like Him? He could have just left Angel well enough alone. But then again, Romans 8:28 says “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” I know I love God. And I really want to believe that this will turn out for good. But some days, I just want to scream at God. I want to know why. Some days I just want to quit on God. He just won’t tell me why. Perhaps there are only answers to that question in Heaven.

When it comes right down to it, I know I couldn’t quit on God. I couldn’t live without Him. He’s been my comfort through it all. He has always been there. He knows. He understands, even though no one else I know does. It’s amazing how much it means when someone actually truly understands what you’re going through. Especially when there literally is no one else.

I haven’t cried outwardly for a while. But sometimes I cry inside. I think He understands the silent tears.

I try not to talk about it anymore, because there is nothing more to say. I don’t have it all straight. I don’t know what God has for me in this. I don’t understand the purpose in this situation, but I know that God has a reason for it. I hope that God can use my story in someone else’s life, because I know I am not the only one to suffer disappointments.

It has been four months since that day I found out I wasn’t going to get her. I should be over it by now. It shouldn’t bother me anymore. Especially considering I never believed it would happen in the first place. On beautiful days, it is very hard for me to not think about it, because it would have been a perfect day to ride. If nothing had changed, I would have her by now.

But I guess that wasn’t God’s will for my life.

I just found out that Angel has moved away from the farm where I met her. The farm where most of this story occurred. Her owner moved her closer to her house so that she could see her more often. Angel is finally back with her owner. It is a bittersweet feeling for me. I think that God has answered that prayer that I prayed two years ago. But I will never see her again. I never got to say goodbye.

The other thing for me was the fact that I have been struggling with wanting to hope. I don’t know how to hope for the future anymore. I don’t know how to hope that I will ever have a horse. I really felt like God had given me hope and then torn it away again. I was holding on to Psalm 37:4 –“Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” I really thought that God was going to give me Angel. But I think I was expecting God to give me Angel because I was delighting in Him. But that’s not what the verse says. It says to “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” God is God. He doesn’t have to do anything for me. I haven’t done God any favors by delighting myself in Him, and even if I had, He still wouldn’t owe me anything.

But one of my sisters said something to me recently. She said that I shouldn’t say that God gave me hope when I was going to get Angel. Maybe she’s right. I always had hope. I still do. I have the biggest God ever. Jeremiah 14:22 (ESV) says, “Are there any among the false gods of the nations that can bring rain? Or can the heavens give showers? Are you not he, O LORD our God? We set our hope on you, for you do all these things.”

Another sister told me that God doesn’t want things like that to happen to me. She said that God is just as hurt over the situation as I am. She thinks that God is weeping with me.

God's Angel (Part Four)

Part Four

Well, that same day, my riding teacher told me that Angel’s owner had changed her mind about leasing Angel to me. Apparently, Angel’s owner was going to come and tell me herself, but we had called and changed the day that I was coming to Friday instead of Saturday. So Angel’s owner was not able to come. Angel’s owner was going to call me.

But there was another horse that my riding teacher knew of that was for sale that sounded like he would be a good horse. It was bitterly cold out, so I spent that afternoon playing a game inside until my Dad came to pick me up.

As we were heading out the driveway, my Dad made a comment on how we really needed to get some fencing going. I told him that there was no point because I was not getting Angel. Poor Dad didn’t know what to say. He quoted Job 1:21b- “…the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” I gripped that verse with all my strength, because I did not want to be bitter at God.

I had no idea how to break it to my Mom. She would be pretty disappointed. And she was. She wanted to know why Angel’s owner changed her mind.

I was in denial. Some days, I still am. I didn’t cry until at least two days later, because I was determined not to cry about it. I wished it was all a bad dream. What finally made me break down was when I was talking to my Mom. I told her I didn’t want another horse.

I think it was a few days later, we called my riding teacher. My Mom asked why Angel’s owner had changed her mind. Apparently, Angel’s owner was not comfortable with the idea because 1) I lived two hours away, and 2) I have never owned a horse before, and I probably would not know what to do if Angel became sick.

I thought about buying that other horse that my riding teacher knew about. I prayed about it, because I wasn’t sure if I could handle getting a horse right then. It turned out that that horse sold, too.

I felt like God was taking everything away.

I waited and waited for Angel’s owner to call me so I could understand why.

But she never did.

I was angry because I didn’t understand why she had told me about it in the first place. I wanted to know why. I thought that if a person is responsible and mature, they would have the guts to call and explain, even if they were afraid of what my reaction would be. I talked with her already. She acted fine with everything. But she didn’t have the guts to call me back and explain. Or the time, anyway.

The few days following that January 8^th, I was in denial. It was the only way that I could keep myself from crying endlessly. I pretended that nothing happened. It didn’t matter. I was fine. I told God almost nothing, except that I would do His will, no matter what the cost. I thought that was what He wanted. I thought He wanted me to give up Angel for Him. I made a commitment to God at a youth meeting to put Him first in my life this year, and to place His will above my desires.

Maybe a week or so later, I took a Saturday to sit on my bed and read my Bible until I found something. (Psalm 119:81-82 “My soul faints for Your salvation, But I hope in Your word. My eyes fail from searching Your word, Saying, “When will You comfort me?”)

I didn’t know what I was searching for. I didn’t know what I would find. I started reading through the Psalms, starting in Psalm chapter one. I read and prayed for about two hours, trying to find something. God showed me Psalm 34: 18-“The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.” I prayed and tried to understand. I asked God to help me accept His will and help me to tell everyone, because I was much too disappointed to tell everyone myself. That day, I came to the conclusion that God brought this situation in my life to draw me closer to Him and to drive me to Himself.

Well, I managed to re-tell everyone that I had told about getting her that I wasn’t getting her. That was a God thing, because I seriously didn’t want to tell anyone. As I mentioned earlier, I never quite believed it was going to happen anyway, so I didn’t tell very many people. The thing I’m still trying to figure out is why it hurt so much when I never really believed it would happen in the first place.

I was devastated. I had suffered many disappointments before, but nothing so huge as this. I was very frustrated with people and life in general.

I was disappointed with God. I did not understand what He was doing. I felt like God had left me alone to handle it by myself. God had let me down. Or so I had thought.

I felt betrayed. Vulnerable. Broken. Shattered. Violated. Used.

I felt like God was playing with me. At first I thought He wanted it to happen that way. I didn’t understand why God would want me to be disappointed. I didn’t understand why God wanted me to go through this.

Hadn’t God promised over and over in His Word to be a shield for me? I thought He would protect me. Why did He stop protecting me?

Black Angel

The first one is my favorite.

God's Angel (Part Three)

Part Three

Then, on November 30^th, 2009, the phone rang. My stomach had been feeling weird all day. I had no idea why, and there was no reason for it. There was a message on the cell phone. My Mom was acting very strange when she got off the phone from calling back. I was doing dishes and I asked who it was. She didn’t respond and went downstairs to speak with Dad. I can’t remember if Mom came back up and told me to come downstairs or if I just came downstairs. But it doesn’t matter that much either way. I sat down on the keyboard bench that was in my Dad’s office. It must have been five minutes of waiting for them to decide who was going to tell me. I think it was a combination of the two in the end, anyway.

Angel had had a colic incident and her owner had come to see her. Angel was fine. Her owner however, told my riding teacher that she had just moved and was going to be extremely busy for the next year. She wanted to lease Angel to someone for a year, and asked if my riding teacher knew of someone who would be interested. My riding teacher thought of me immediately.

I was going to lease Angel. She was going to be my horse for a year. She was going to live at my house and I was going to see her every day for a year. God answered my prayer more perfectly than I could have imagined. I didn’t quite believe it was really happening. I told a few people about it, but since I wasn’t positive it was happening until she was on my property, I didn’t tell very many people.

We called my riding teacher back to say that “yes,” I wanted to lease her. We got her owner’s phone number and called her. Angel’s owner’s phone was extremely full of messages and it was probably about two weeks before I got a hold of her to confirm it. I asked her my questions and told her that I wanted to lease Angel. She sounded like she was fine with everything, but really emphasized the fact that Angel needed good fencing. She told me to call her if I had any more questions and let her know when we could meet so we could talk about details.

In December, I went to see Angel again to go out and groom her and hang out with her. I sat in the paddock as she ate her hay and I talked to her about my plans. I talked to her about coming to live with me and how much fun it would be. I talked to her about God and how amazing He is. I told her about this amazing cranberry-colored blanket that I was going to get for her.

Christmas was insane here. I was happy, but really too busy to focus on anything. My Christmas Angel was not coming right away, but I was still totally happy. Angel was my favorite Christmas present.

Shortly after Christmas, I was becoming discouraged again because it kept snowing and we couldn’t build a barn or fencing in the snow. I had to wait until spring before I could bring her to my house. That horse that our friend had was sold.

On January 8^th, 2010, I went to see her again. It was freezing that day. I don’t think it made it out of the teens. But I didn’t care. I was so glad to see Angel. I told her that day that I didn’t understand how we were ever going to get a barn or fencing up if God kept sending all the snow. After all, didn’t He know how frustrated I was? I was discouraged and didn’t think that it would really happen. But I tried to tell myself that I had to be patient. I prayed with Angel and told God that I would wait. I told God that if it was His will for us to never be together, then I would accept that.

One of the hardest things to do as a Christian is telling God that you want His will more than you want yours. But if you want to give your life for God, it is a necessity. As I have already mentioned, there is a high price to be paid for following Christ. But I dare say it’s worth it. After all, hasn’t God already paid the highest price for me?

God's Angel (Part Two)

Part Two

Well, I forget exactly how the idea came up, but late that fall, I decided that I really wanted to buy Angel. Her owner never came to see her and I loved her so much. I saw her more than her owner did. She followed me around like a puppy (most horses don’t really do that).

I began to beseech God about her. I prayed about loving her so much. I prayed about wanting to own her. I prayed about her owner. I prayed that God would give Angel to me or have her owner come out more often to see her. I prayed that God would do His will in the situation, and that I would be content. I literally prayed by candlelight.

I asked my parents, and my Mom seemed okay with the idea. My Dad eventually said “no,” because it was just “not practical.” My riding teacher insisted that Angel’s owner would not sell her. She said that Angel’s owner loved Angel too much (In my mind, I don’t understand how you can love something so much and not make time for them, but that’s just me). For some reason I’m not sure of, I decided not to lose hope about Angel. I had prayed about her and I knew God was going to answer my prayer in some way.

Christmas of 2008, I received some really nice new riding boots and a riding helmet. Yeah, those are awesome. I still believed that I was going to get a horse. My riding teacher told me that I wouldn’t be getting stuff for horses if I wasn’t going to get a horse someday.

As the months dragged by, I don’t know how many times I asked my riding teacher to talk to Angel’s owner about selling Angel. I loved Angel so much. We were still living in another rental house at that point, and still didn’t have a place for her. At one point that summer, my riding teacher told me that I really should ride a different horse, because I was “becoming too attached” to Angel, and since her owner would never sell her, I shouldn’t become too attached. Well, I can’t really say that it helped me any, because I loved her just as much as ever, if not more. But Angel’s owner seemed firm that Angel should stay at my riding teacher’s house.

People told me not to be discouraged because God had “the right horse” out there and He would bring it at the right time. And I didn’t have a place to keep a horse at the time. They said that Angel was something that God used to help me know what I wanted in a horse. Okay. Sorry, but they totally didn’t understand. At the time, Angel was the only horse in the world that I wanted.

The summer of 2009, I prayed a lot over her. I told God about how I felt, because no one else understood. I told Him that I loved her and didn’t want another horse. I received a grooming kit for my birthday that year. I argued with myself about using my own grooming kit on Angel, because I wanted to save it for my own horse and knew that Angel was never going to be mine. I finally made the decision that I would just go ahead and use it on her.

We started building our new house late that spring. I was torn about moving. I wanted to have a home, and I hated the rental we lived in. I had nothing left where we were living. But I didn’t want to go because of Angel. I wanted to take her with me. I didn’t want to leave her behind. I told God that I didn’t want to leave her behind.

That summer, I went to visit a rescue farm that I was thinking of rescuing a horse from, too. I filled out a form and was going to wait for a horse, because I really was going to get a horse in the fall of 2009. I wasn’t actually sure I was going to get a horse from that farm though.

It was late summer when we finally moved to our new house. We had quite a mess trying to get settled, but that’s a different story. I ended up emailing that rescue farm and telling them that I was not going to be ready for a horse, because I had no fencing or barn, let alone pasture grass. Our “pasture” consisted of briars, thorny locusts, and stumps from pine trees that were taken out a year or so before. Not the ideal horse pasture. I was pretty much not getting a horse that fall. I saw several ads for horses that I was interested in, but again, I didn’t have a place to put one, nor did we have the time to put a place up.

I prayed for patience, because I thought that God wanted me to wait a while longer. But I was losing hope of getting a horse at all. I still loved Angel and wanted to have her, but I hadn’t brought up the subject of buying her to anyone for a long time. Except God. I talked to God all the time about life and horses. He knew how much I loved her. He knew how much I wanted her. But I had given up on the idea of getting her.

My riding teacher mentioned a horse to me that her friend had that I was interested in, but that didn’t end up becoming solid.

I saw a few horses that I wanted to buy, but as I already mentioned, we didn’t have time or money for building a place to put a horse.

Then a friend in the area made the decision to sell her horse. I spoke with my parents about buying her, because she sounded like an amazing horse and I really wanted to meet her. It actually sounded like it was going to work out if I liked the horse. My Mom was going to call her to set up a time to come see the horse. I prayed about whether this was the right horse or not. I asked God to help me to know. I asked God to help me to let go of Angel.