Some verses that really hit me

(All are KJV)

(I especially was hit by the first one)

Psalm 119:71
It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

Psalm 119:82
Mine eyes fail for thy word, saying, When wilt thou comfort me?

Psalm 119:111
Thy testimonies have I taken as an heritage for ever: for they are the rejoicing of my heart.

Psalm 119:116
Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live: and let me not be ashamed of my hope.

Okay..I actually don't write poetry...

But sometimes I can't actually write anything out other than to put it in free verse and I can't even say if it's still considered poetry. I can't even believe I'm actually posting this. But anyways, here they are.


"Will there ever be another you?"

One day I met you,

But I did not know you.

Another day, I learned you,

And I fell in love.

Hard I fell, I fell for you.

And I prayed for you.

Then I waited and prayed more.

A long, long time I waited for you.

Then I had given up on you.

And then I heard about you again.

And I was elated.

I dreamed and hoped for us.

I fantasized about us.

Then you were gone, gone were you.

At first I wouldn’t believe it.

But I couldn’t hide my sorrow forever.

And now I wonder, I wonder, I wonder.

Will there ever be another you?

~Dedicated to Angel,

January 12, Tuesday, 2010

"Whispers"

I thought it [my heart] was beyond repair.

I didn’t even know if You cared.

You were silent.

I couldn’t feel You.

But then You whispered something I had forgotten.

You whispered that You love me.

You told me that You still care.

You told me that You have a plan.

You said, “I’m still God.”

And I know I can trust You.

I just forgot how much

You still love me.

~January 30, 2010

God's been asking me lately

What am I willing to give up for Him?

I was reading Genesis 22 where Abraham is asked to sacrifice Isaac on the mountain when God asked me, "Would you do the same?"

That got me thinking. Am I really willing to give up anything for God? My wish to say "yes" isn't necessarily true about anything. What if He asked me to give up my family? My comforts? What if He asked me to give up horses? It's definitely thought-provoking. I want to say "yes", but He challenged me lately.



He asked me to give up Angel for Him.



He asked me if I would be willing to give up horses at all. He asked me if He was most important. If He mattered more to me than anything else in the world.

And you know what?

I don't want to say "yes" to that.

But I'm going to anyway. I'm going to make God most important in my life. He matters more to me than anything.

Where was I?

81. Windy autumn days.
82. Autumn colors.
83. A God who understands me (Psalm 139).
84. Any kind of contact with horses (a.k.a sanity)
85. Hot chocolate.
86. Freedom to pick up my Bible anytime I need to.
87. A God who loves me enough to disciple/discipline me.
88. Calculators.
89. A God who is always listening.
90. Sisters.

Day 3

Lord, thank you for:

21. Clean, warm, soft blankets on my bed.
22. The smell of hot fresh homemade bread.
23. The smell of horses.
24. Fruit, especially apples.
25. Hot apple cider in the fall.
26. Light.
27. Hope.
28. Being bigger than all my problems.
29. The sun.
30. Stars.

Being thankful

No, it's not thanksgiving yet, but that's the point. God has shown me recently that I have not been very thankful at all for what I have. I have been concentrating on what I don't have. So I am going to try to think of the good things. Every day for the next two weeks, I am going to post ten different things I am thankful for. I am going to thank God for them and get a more grateful attitude. Who knows, maybe I'll keep posting more things after two weeks...I might get addicted. =)

For those of you who care, at ten different things a day, that's 140 things to be thankful for in just two weeks.

I challenge anyone who reads this to do the same. It's not an order, but if you think you would have fun and find new things to be thankful for, I say go for it. Maybe God will use my lists to help others, too.

Here are some verses to go with this (all are KJV).

1 Chronicles 16:8

Give thanks unto the LORD, call upon his name, make known his deeds among the people.

Psalm 92:1-2

IT IS A GOOD THING TO GIVE THANKS UNTO THE LORD, AND TO SING PRAISES UNTO THY NAME, O MOST HIGH:

²To shew forth thy lovingkindness in the morning, and thy faithfulness every night,

1 Chronicles 16:3

O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good; for his mercy endureth for ever.

Psalm 30:4

Sing unto the LORD, O ye saints of his, and give thanks at the remembrance of his holiness.

Psalm 105:1

give thanks unto the LORD; call upon his name: make known his deeds among the people.

Okay, there are a TON more, but those are a few of them.


So here's list number one.


Thank you Lord for:


1. My Savior who died on the Cross to pay for my sin willingly because He loved me.
2. Freedom to read my Bible and worship in church in America.
3. A God who is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. (*Psalm 103:8)
4. A God who loves me when I'm obeying Him and when I'm not.
5. A God who always willingly forgives.
6. My Dad and all that he does.
7. My Mom and how much she does, in spite of no one noticing.
8. My brothers and sisters.
9. A roof over my head.
10. Clothes to wear.

Answers to prayer

Okay. I want some feedback. Does anyone have an answer to prayer they would be willing to share here? I want to hear all about it. Please leave anything! If it's more than one, tell all of them! =)

Update.

Here we are in our new house finally. I'm a little (okay, a LOT) frustrated that we don't have closet shelves yet. So my room has lots of boxes still. Well, this is here. We are getting ready to start school and that's going interesting. I'm going to my riding teacher's place to visit in about a week, I think. I can't wait to do that, because I miss everyone so much! My brother-in-law and sister and neice came to visit over the weekend and then my brother-in-law went back to work this week. He left my sister and niece here.

Today, I took my niece on a walk in the woods with our dogs. On the way out, it started to look dark the direction facing the house. Rain was on the way. We saw a black snake in the grass that still hasn't been mowed and made our way up to get the dogs a drink and put them in the garage (their temporary sleeping area) to eat. Then we went up on the covered front porch and watched our first storm roll in. It was a lot of fun and we saw part of a rainbow before the storm. After it rained, the sun came out the rest of the way and we saw the full rainbow! I decided not to pull out my camera, but it was spectacular. So pretty. Every time I see the rainbow, I remember why it's there. It is absolutely amazing to think that I am looking at what God is looking at( Genesis 9:16). It's so cool and it reminds me that God never breaks His promises. It makes me smile. =)

We have a lot of work to do still. We need to mow and get fencing up. Actually, for my horse, the brush needs to be tilled up and re-seeded. I don't know if I'll be getting a horse this fall or not, but we'll have to see.

A few verses and some pictures of my last day at the barn

I had such a blast on Friday at the barn. I helped out with the group that came out and I rode for a little while. I actually took Rocky over the six-inch jump. He LOVES jumping! I had so much fun. I was hot when I was done and so while I was waiting for the kids to come and help groom Rocky, I got a drink of Dr. Pepper. Of course, I had to share it with him. I think he got more of it than I did (see picture below)! I had so much fun and I only wish that it wasn't goodbye. I have always had such a blast and I don't know what I would have done without my time at the barn. God really blessed me with all of these awesome people and horses. I will never forget them. They have been the best part of my life (not including God) and I wouldn't trade one second I had with them for anything. I love them so much!

Micah 7:18-19

18 Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy.

¹⁹He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea.

Doesn't this look so peaceful?

My goofy boyfriend wanted my Dr. Pepper. I think he got more of it than I did! (In case you couldn't tell, this was supposed to be a picture of me and my riding teacher!!)

Psalm 51:16-17

¹⁶ For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You do not delight in burnt offering.

¹⁷ The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart—
These, O God, You will not despise.

Also, this is my Rocky with his leaser. He loves her and she is so awesome. =)

Check here for more pictures of my last day at the barn.

A realization...

I'm not sure what made me think of it, but this morning a thought hit me.

Jesus will never leave me.

I have always known that. But so often I forget it. The thought I had though, is that because of my sin, God couldn't even look upon me. But because I have given it to Jesus, He can.

He won't forsake me because Jesus took that on Himself already.


Mark 15:34

"And at the ninth hour Jesus cried with a loud voice, saying, Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani? which is, being interpreted, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?"



I cannot even imagine the loneliness Jesus experienced when He was on the cross. I have been lonely. But I am positive, it has not been so deep or so heart-wrenching as the loneliness Jesus experienced. When God left Him. I am so glad that I never have to experience such depth of loneliness. Such agony. I can't even describe how I imagine it. But I never have to experience that feeling because of Him. He took it on Himself. The scary part is that God only turned away because of my sin. It wasn't even Jesus' fault.


I am praising God for this. This is one thing in and of itself that makes me realize just how much God has done for me.


Thank You, Lord.

Fears and realizations

Some short notes about yesterday. I had a wonderful time with my baby, Angel. She was perfect, as usual. I had a trail ride on one of the other horses, too. That was good. Then, I went hiking with my brother and his girlfriend. I took a bunch of pictures of them together. Then we went to see our old house in Appomattox. My little brother said that there was a subdivision in there or something, but when we got there, it was NOT a subdivision. In fact, just the opposite, and I'm not sure which idea would have made me most sad. It was probably my favorite house we have ever lived at. The sight we saw when we went was soo depressing. It was totally overgrown with weeds, grass, trees, everything. The house looks like it hasn't been lived in for at least a few months. There was a security lock on the door, too. We didn't see any for sale sign anywhere, unless it was buried under the weeds. It was one of the most sad sights I have seen in a long time. It was such a beautiful house when we lived there. The land is so pretty, too. Now it's totally over grown. I'm very sad about it. I miss that place, and it is so sad to see it so run down. *sigh* After that, we tried to find our way on the backroads to Grandma's house, but we hadn't been that way in so long, we couldn't remember how to get there, and somehow we got lost. We drove around for about 45 min. without knowing where we were and made our way back to our house. We never made it to Grandma's house. It's also really sad that we can't remember the way there! ='(


I am having an very interesting life. Some stuff going on that is making me question my motives in things. Sometimes I have to wonder if I am really doing what I am doing the way that God said to or whether I'm doing it for my own benefit. I really am having a hard last few weeks. I don't know what to do to fix it and make it easier other than talk to God. I'm trying so hard to keep going, but I can't figure out how to do it. I want so badly to hold on to God. I am trying so hard. But it's not happening. I'm slipping away. I feel like at any moment, I'm going to fall and break into a million pieces, never to be okay again. My friend told me a week or so ago that I don't have to hold on. I talked to her about how desperately I wanted to hold on. I don't want to slip. She told me that it's okay to let go. It's okay to let go, because God is gonna hold me. I don't have to hold on, because He's holding me. It's been a crazy life already, and I'm not even started on life yet. I hate to think how bad life can get later. I hope it can't get too much harder. I am really struggling with a couple of relationships right now. I am having a little trouble dealing with them because of circumstances and the way that people are or like to do things. I realized that I can't just drop a relationship because I "can't deal with it". I realized that it's going to get hard sometimes, but that doesn't mean it's going to be like that forever. I just need to let God do the work and hold on to Him. I just need to love people where they are and accept them. I just need to love them no matter what. I am feeling so afraid right now. I still can't let go and let God hold me. I am afraid to let go I guess. I want to, but I just am not sure that God is gonna be there if I do let go. In my head I know He says He is, but it just won't sink in. It's another trust thing. I just am not sure that I can trust him. Don't get me wrong, I know He's trustworthy. I know in my head that He is who He says He is and He will be there for me, but I just have so much trouble just trusting. I don't know why, I just do. I want to trust Him, and I know He's trustworthy, I just....*sigh* I don't know. It's just me, I know. There's no one else who thinks like this. Phooey. I know He says to trust Him and I know He's trustworthy, but I just don't know how to do it. It's so hard. I want to let go and let Him hold me. I don't have anything left. I can't keep going. I can't hold on anymore.

My strength is almost gone,
How can I carry on,
When I can't find You?
~Casting Crowns, "Praise You in This Storm"

I just feel like I'm so lost. I am out of strength. It is hard to carry on. Has anyone ever felt like God isn't there? It's so hard to tell the difference between God talking to me and me talking to myself, trying to make myself feel better or something. Has anyone ever had trouble telling the difference? I feel so hopeless. All I have left is to try to remember God is there. All I have left is faith. All I can do is believe that He really is going to hold me and believe that He really does love me and it's not just something I'm making up.




Even though I can't, all I can do is trust Him.

Though others forget....

<sup>Isaiah 49:14-16


14</sup> But Zion said, “The LORD has forsaken me,
And my Lord has forgotten me.”
¹⁵ “ Can a woman forget her nursing child,
And not have compassion on the son of her womb?
Surely they may forget,
Yet I will not forget you.
¹⁶ See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;
Your walls are continually before Me.



I have known this promise since I was small. Why have I forgotten it? The Lord showed me this this morning. I love the part "Surely, they may forget, yet I will not forget you."




As some teenagers say, "God rocks."

I've decided.

Okay. So I've decided that God is entirely too cool. He's so good to me! =)

Psalm 121

¹ I will lift up my eyes to the hills—
From whence comes my help?
² My help comes from the LORD,
Who made heaven and earth.

³ He will not allow your foot to be moved;
He who keeps you will not slumber.
⁴ Behold, He who keeps Israel
Shall neither slumber nor sleep.

⁵ The LORD is your keeper;
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
⁶ The sun shall not strike you by day,
Nor the moon by night.

⁷ The LORD shall preserve you from all evil;
He shall preserve your soul.
⁸ The LORD shall preserve your going out and your coming in
From this time forth, and even forevermore.

Psalm 77/At the foot of the Cross

Psalm 77

1 I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me.

2 In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted.

3 I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah.

4 Thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

5 I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times.

6 I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.

7 Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more?

8 Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore?

9 Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah.

10 And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.

11 I will remember the works of the LORD: surely I will remember thy wonders of old.

12 I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.

13 Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?

14 Thou art the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people.

15 Thou hast with thine arm redeemed thy people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah.

16 The waters saw thee, O God, the waters saw thee; they were afraid: the depths also were troubled.

17 The clouds poured out water: the skies sent out a sound: thine arrows also went abroad.

18 The voice of thy thunder was in the heaven: the lightnings lightened the world: the earth trembled and shook.

19 Thy way is in the sea, and thy path in the great waters, and thy footsteps are not known.

20 Thou leddest thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.





At the Foot of the Cross-Tammy Trent

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me your love
Through the judgement you received
And you've won my heart
Yes you've won my heart
Now I can

Chorus:
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death you bore for me
And you've won my heart
Yes you've won my heart
Now I can

Chorus:
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

Lessons from God...

In the last few months, reading through articles, hearing the news, listening to people....

I have been honestly disgusted.
I have seen, heard, or read so many things that absolutely refute God and anything to do with Him. They abhor Him. I look through these things and I have to wonder where so many of them come up with their ideas. They disclaim everything that I have ever been taught about God. I honestly feel hurt that they would attack God in the ways that they have. I know I can't do anything about it personally, but I am flabbergasted at many of the people that argue against God. And I will resign my case here.

God has always been my strength to fall back upon. He has always been there, and I have felt His presence and seen His answers to my prayers. In the last year, I have felt so far from Him, and yet so close. I have honestly known Him better than I have ever known Him in the past.

In the past few years, I had known Him as God. I had known Him as someone who had died for me and rose again. I had known Him as a miraculous God. I had known Him as someone who said He loved me. I had known Him as someone who watched over me and protected me. I had known Him as someone that people I knew claimed as their Savior.

Even though all these things are true, that was only just skimming the surface of God. Oh, sure, I had had answers to requests I had made. Sure, I had been having a quiet time with Him every morning. Sure, I heard all these people who said all this awesome stuff about Him. But I have recently seen that I didn't really know God. I knew some things about God. But I didn't know God.

In the past year or so, I have gotten to know Him. Not just what people said about Him. My life has had more trials and temptations and fallings and pits than I had previously ever known existed. God has taught me about Himself. Some things that I would never have known were it not for my life this past year. It hasn't exactly been a smooth ride. In the past, I have had more blessings than I could count on a hundred people's hands. I had been blessed with so much more. I still have many of those blessings. But some I haven't had. Some I haven't been able to have. God hasn't seen fit to give me those just yet. And yet, through the valley, He has drawn me to Himself. He has shown me great and mighty things. He has taught me about His faithfulness. His unfailing love. His strength. His mercy. His grace.


I'm waiting on Him for things in my life right now. It has not been easy. It's been probably the hardest thing I've had to do in my entire life. Wait. It's a hard word to learn. And He asks that we wait patiently for Him. Don't tell me it's easy. It's not. I have had so many dreams, that with each passing day, seem farther off in the distance. Some of them may have even been shattered. Each day that goes by, I see more of reality and how unreal my dreams really are. I see how next-to-impossible my dreams are. Some people tell me to just "wait on God". "Our timing is not His timing" they say. "Keep waiting. It'll happen". But how can I know? All I can do is hope and pray and wait.


I have struggled with keeping hope for better things, too. Keeping hope that will not fail. I have lost hope. Hope is very hard to keep when there nothing to keep it going. Nothing. Except God. He is all that there is. But He has been there. He has not shown His timing yet, but He has been there. He is hope.


I guess I'm just posting my personal experience in the last year. I have honestly felt like I know Him and not just some "Father figure" everyone talks about. I'll admit, the more I learn, the more I see there is to learn. So don't think I have God figured out. I don't. But I love Him more every day. I have never known God with such a depth as I have this year. I am enjoying it. It has been rough. But the more I learn about God, the more I feel that He will pull me through.


This post didn't really come out the way I wanted it to, but I tried.

The Christmas Story

Matthew 1,2, 26, 27, 28, and Luke 1, 2, 22, 23, 24

I've included the last passages of Matthew and Luke because they are why Jesus was born in the first place.



I found a book in Barnes and Noble this morning entitled "The Purpose of Christmas". I turned it over to read the back cover and this is what it read:

Why is Christmas such a big deal?

If you stop to think about it, it is astounding that the simple, unassuming birth of a peasant baby boy more than two thousand years ago in the Middle East can today cause traffic jams every December in places like New York City, Tokyo, and Rio de Janeiro.

I never finished reading the synopsis because this was a truly amazing thought. It is amazing how the birth of a baby can cause such traffic jams for an entire month. People are so busy getting ready for the one day of the month they miss the entire purpose of the day. Perhaps some have never heard. Perhaps they just do it because it's expected. Maybe they have heard, and they keep forgetting. I suspect many, like those who have written "xmas" in place of "Christmas", just don't want people to remember. Many would have us believe that Christmas is about santa claus coming on Christmas eve. Many would have us believe that it's about showing the people we love that we care.

But the real reason for Christmas?


It's been lost in the business of the gifts, the stockings, the fireplaces, the food, the family time, the cards, the traditions, and everything else that's seeped in originally just to celebrate the Christmas season.


The reason that so many have forgotten is that Jesus came to earth as a baby. He came as a baby. That's an amazing thought. That such a holy, righteous God would come to earth as a little baby boy. That He would humble Himself to such an estate. He was and is a King. He could have come as anything. He could have come as a conqueror or a king. But He chose to come as a baby.


He chose to come as a baby.


What an amazing thought. And He came not to condemn us, but to forgive us. To live a perfect life and then die for our sins, that we might live for Him. That we might be saved through Him. I cannot begin to fathom the kind of love He had in His heart for us. To die for us. To forgive us for all the wrong things we have done. To still forgive us when we're so imperfect.

You know, we are so selfish. We don't want to forgive someone who may have borrowed our hairpin without asking. And yet, Jesus forgave all of us for every single thing we have ever ever done wrong.


"Wow" is the only word that comes to my mind.


How can I be so selfish and unforgiving of those in my life when Jesus forgave me for things that I deserve death for? How?


I'm speaking to myself here, so those who may get offended at anything I'm saying, please forgive me. =D Seriously, I have a lot of things that I need to fix about myself, and I'm not meaning to attack anyone personally.

I just wanted to remember the real reason for Christmas. The reason we're even here on this earth. It's not about presents, it's not about food, or traditions, or santa claus.







It's about Jesus Christ and what He did for us.

At the risk of regretting it in the morning...

I'm going to write about my life again. This is supposed to be a profound post. =P

Today has been horrible, as I mentioned earlier. I can't go riding on Friday...I'm trying to plan a surprise birthday party for my Mom, but nothing is really working...I didn't feel like doing school...I need to make a decision about college sometime...I gotta send out Christmas gifts...I gotta send out Christmas letters...I gotta make cookies...I gotta exercise..I gotta keep secrets...I gotta not be disappointed if I don't get anything for Christmas...I gotta be helpful...I gotta be friendly...I gotta be a good example...I gotta serve others...I gotta finish shopping...I gotta talk to so-and-so...I gotta finish this...I gotta finish that...(you get the picture)...


So I think it's all to much. I think my brain is overloading and rejecting all the things that I need to do. I might mention that I haven't been able to get up early enough to do my Bible time. I've been trying to pray throughout the day as the need comes or before I go to sleep or before I start the day. But I think I'm crazy busy. Not literally. Just in my brain. Between Christmas and friends and horses and dogs and housing and presents and family and sleep and promises and secrets and all the info that's overloading my brain, I've had too much.

I need to slow down and take some time with God. I need to pray. But even through my mind's busyness, I can hear His quiet whispers. He's been reminding me of His unchanging, unfailing love and how life is never hopeless with Him.

On Sunday, the message was absolutely wonderful. It seemed like it was pointed right at me. It seemed like it pointed to all my problems and showed me the answers. The message was from Psalm 107.

Psalm 107
1 Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,
Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the enemy,
3 And gathered out of the lands,
From the east and from the west,
From the north and from the south.

4 They wandered in the wilderness in a desolate way;
They found no city to dwell in.
5 Hungry and thirsty,
Their soul fainted in them.
6 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He delivered them out of their distresses.
7 And He led them forth by the right way,
That they might go to a city for a dwelling place.
8 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
9 For He satisfies the longing soul,
And fills the hungry soul with goodness.

10 Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Bound in affliction and irons—
11 Because they rebelled against the words of God,
And despised the counsel of the Most High,
12 Therefore He brought down their heart with labor;
They fell down, and there was none to help.
13 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
And broke their chains in pieces.
15 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
16 For He has broken the gates of bronze,
And cut the bars of iron in two.

17 Fools, because of their transgression,
And because of their iniquities, were afflicted.
18 Their soul abhorred all manner of food,
And they drew near to the gates of death.
19 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses.
20 He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions.
21 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
22 Let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving,
And declare His works with rejoicing.

23 Those who go down to the sea in ships,
Who do business on great waters,
24 They see the works of the LORD,
And His wonders in the deep.
25 For He commands and raises the stormy wind,
Which lifts up the waves of the sea.
26 They mount up to the heavens,
They go down again to the depths;
Their soul melts because of trouble.
27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man,
And are at their wits’ end.
28 Then they cry out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He brings them out of their distresses.
29 He calms the storm,
So that its waves are still.
30 Then they are glad because they are quiet;
So He guides them to their desired haven.
31 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
32 Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people,
And praise Him in the company of the elders.

33 He turns rivers into a wilderness,
And the watersprings into dry ground;
34 A fruitful land into barrenness,
For the wickedness of those who dwell in it.
35 He turns a wilderness into pools of water,
And dry land into watersprings.
36 There He makes the hungry dwell,
That they may establish a city for a dwelling place,
37 And sow fields and plant vineyards,
That they may yield a fruitful harvest.
38 He also blesses them, and they multiply greatly;
And He does not let their cattle decrease.

39 When they are diminished and brought low
Through oppression, affliction, and sorrow,
40 He pours contempt on princes,
And causes them to wander in the wilderness where there is no way;
41 Yet He sets the poor on high, far from affliction,
And makes their families like a flock.
42 The righteous see it and rejoice,
And all iniquity stops its mouth.

43 Whoever is wise will observe these things,
And they will understand the lovingkindness of the LORD.




Notice how the phrase "Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses" is repeated several times. I was reminded of how I need to look to the Lord when I need help and not so much to anyone or anything else. I was reminded that God loves me and that He's there, even when I don't make time to spend with Him. The pastor also told several stories about songwriters lives and how they came to God and why they wrote the songs they wrote. This one song in particular really got my attention because the writer wrote this at a time when his wife left him because she couldn't stand being an evangelist's wife any more. It's not the same, but it still hurts a lot when friends just don't talk to you anymore. Or even tell you why. And lately, I've been feeling a little upset that I pray for people who don't even notice my existence. I guess I've just been wondering why I even care when they don't even know I exist. Or they try to pretend I don't and ignore me. But I keep praying for them anyway. Because it's the right thing to do, I guess. Or maybe it's because I honestly do care for these people, even though the don't care about me. So God used this song to remind me that even though no one else may care, Jesus still cares.

No one ever cared for me like Jesus
Written by Charles Frederick Weigle

CHORUS
No one ever cared for me like Jesus;
There's no other friend so kind as He;
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me.
O how much He cared for me!

I would love to tell you what I think of Jesus
Since I found in Him a friend so strong and true;
I would tell you how He changed my life completely,
He did something that no other friend could do.

CHORUS
No one ever cared for me like Jesus;
There's no other friend so kind as He;
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me.
O how much He cared for me!

All my life was full of sin when Jesus found me;
All my heart was full of misery and woe;
Jesus placed His strong and loving arms around me,
And He led me in the way I ought to go.

CHORUS
No one ever cared for me like Jesus;
There's no other friend so kind as He;
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me.
O how much He cared for me!

Ev'ry day He comes to me with new assurance,
More and more I understand His words of love;
But I'll never know just why He came to save me,
Till some day I see His blessed face above.

CHORUS
No one ever cared for me like Jesus;
There's no other friend so kind as He;
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me.
O how much He cared for me!

You can check out the full story about Charles Weigle(or look further on google or something) here.

But anyway, God just spoke to me through this song and message. It was such a wonderful feeling. And I didn't really want to go to church that morning. But He knew I needed to be there. I can't express how much I needed to hear this. I was so glad that God can still speak through even little things. I haven't really wanted to go to church for the past six months or so because we haven't had a church that was doing me any good. I haven't heard a good message since probably 2007 when I was at The Wilds. So I've just tried to do what's right and go anyway. Not because I really wanted to, but because Mom and Dad were going and they thought it was the right thing to do. But I think can honestly say that for probably the first time in six months, I am at least looking forward a little to this Sunday. I can't really begin to write what God is doing in my heart. I have so many things that I have been struggling with and so many things that I have had so much trouble with.

Wait, trust, and hope are the three main things that I've had trouble really doing. In my heart, I want to. But to be honest, I think fear has something to do with it. Fear that my dreams will never be realized. Fear that God will not provide. Fear that God wants something for my life that I will hate. Fear that I will never have a horse. Oh, I know in my heart that these things are not true. But I just struggle with the whole concept of me wanting what God wants for my life. Maybe that's it. And maybe I'm just incoherent, like my sister said she was. It is midnight, after all. I have an excuse. =D But anyway, I hope someone actually reads this and will maybe comment on it.

What I love about God

A few girls that I know(or know of) have posted on this subject. I thought that I would join in!


One of the things I love most about God is how He loved me first. He loved me more than life and gave His own Son to die for my sins. I love His mercy. I love that He can never sin. I love His faithfulness. I love His comfort. I love how His intention all throughout His word was for the salvation of man, and all so He could get the glory. I love His humility. I love His relationship to His people. I love how His wrath turns to mercy over and over again in His word. I love that God is compassionate. I love that He speaks through the quiet of the night and not so much through the storm. I love to hear His voice in the storm. I love that God cares about everyone. I love that He cares what happens to me. I love that He cares how I treat others. I love how He's always there and I will never get a "busy" signal. I love how God's love waits for me. I love how beautiful He made horses and all His creation. I love His creativity. I love how He made everyone special in their own way. I love how He answers prayer. I love how He is always gentle. I love how He can make me respond to the little things. I love that He never pushes Himself on me. I love that He is always listening. I love that He thinks I am worth more than sparrows. I love how He reassures me of His love when I so often forget. I love how He has blessed me with so much more than I need or deserve. I love His grace. I love that He is the same yesterday, today, and forever. I love that Jesus cried. I love that He never forgets me. I love all His promises. I love His protection. I love His forgiveness. I love His quickness to take me in His arms and hold me. I love His selflessness. I love that He makes intercession for me when I pray. I love that He has made it possible for me to pray and talk directly to Him. I love that He notices me. I love that He became human and can therefore understand all my of weaknesses and failings. I love that He was tempted in every way possible on earth. I love that through it all He never sinned. I could keep going and going and going, but I'll stop here for now.



I almost hate to say it, but I love the way He makes me wait for things until His timing. I just love the way that He always fulfills my dreams soooo much more than I ever dared to dream. I can remember things that I prayed sooo hard about that I would constantly wonder why He was making me wait. But then He would answer me and often it would be far more than I ever dreamed He could do! I just love that about Him.

Another promise

Psalm 91:14-16

“Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known My name. He shall call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him, and show him My salvation.”