Fall is coming soon

Already. Okay, I'm not complaining, I just am not ready to start school yet. And I only have a week of summer vacation left. =( *sigh* I have no idea how school is going to get done with a horse, though. It will be interesting.

Angel is doing great. She has been absolutely wonderful so far. I am hopefully helping her stifle injury as I ride her every other day. She seems to be doing the same, so far, though. We'll have to see. =\

I think we found a church where we live and I really like it. The people are so nice and no one cares what you wear or look like. They care about God they care about whether you know Him or not. It's really refreshing to be in a church like that. =)

Well, fall IS my favorite season, so I guess I can't complain too much. I love the leaves in the fall, and I love the temperatures. I also love the fact that the weather is perfect for making homemade bread. It's too hot in the summer to make bread. Oh, and the temperatures get down just low enough in the mornings and evenings to make hot cider or hot chocolate or something like that. And this fall, I have a horse that I can spend time with...fall is the best season for riding, too. The weather is not too hot and not too cold, and the horses are in really good moods. =)

I can't believe this is my senior year in high school. That's a little freaky. I have college plans, though. I'm just not all that excited about leaving my horse...trying not to think about that right now...
After fall of course, comes Christmas, so here's another countdown. =D

139 days, 7 hours, and 2 minutes until Christmas Eve...

God's Angel (Part Eleven)

Part Eleven

Okay, so this time, I am not saying that this is the last part I’m writing. I should have learned my lesson before. God wants me to write another part. I have had a couple of people tell me it doesn’t seem like an ending. I was asking God about whether I should or not, and He said that He wanted me to tell everyone that He has done more than what I ever hoped for.

The month of June and the first two weeks of July were very discouraging. Seriously. I don’t know how else to put it. I tried counting the days until Angel came home, but it was almost more discouraging than if she wasn’t coming at all. I think we must have changed the date four times, and I had to change the number of days higher again every time. I think God must really want me to learn patience. I was so frustrated, and it was getting harder every day. But God was there, every moment. Putting up fencing was hard work. We had a tractor with an auger to dig the holes for the posts. It kept getting stuck in the dirt and we had to dig it out several times by hand, breaking several shovels in the process. I don’t know an exact number, but we put up at least 150-200 posts. And that was just digging posts. On weekends, when Dad was home, because we couldn’t get any work done during the week. We had wiring to do still, as well as brace posts and electric. Yeah, that took a while. We had to move the goats out of the pasture where Angel was going to be, and then we had to take down the boards separating the run-in-shed we had for her. We also took time to mow the field, lime the field, and put some pasture grass seed down. All of that took all the time we had between May 22nd and July 16th, the final date we chose. It was hard long work. I spent every hour I could doing the fencing and getting things ready. And then of course, the fun part was shopping for all of my horse stuff (my family didn’t think so, haha). I spent some time in the tack shop getting the stuff I needed.
Well, July 15th, the night before Angel came home, I sat out in the pasture beside my hitching post with my Bible and my prayer journal and I talked with God. I read my story again, remembering everything that God had brought to pass and thinking of just how amazing God was in the way that everything had happened. I think I was out there for an hour or so, just talking to God about everything and how it had all come together so perfectly. I thanked Him for everything that He had done, and praised Him for how perfect it all was. I prayed that everything would go smoothly the next day with bringing Angel home and that we would have safety and fun.
July 16th finally arrived. I didn’t really sleep and I was wide awake when I looked at the clock at 5 a.m. I started my day with prayer, thanking God again for everything and asking for safety and asking that I would be aware of His presence and that He would be close. Then I headed out with my Dad to work (he has a two hour drive to get there). It was a very slow drive, of course. We had to pick up a truck to haul the hay in, and so that took some extra time, as the truck rental manager didn’t remember he had agreed to meet us before the hour they opened. We didn’t wait too long, though. We also waited for traffic at an accident site for a few minutes. My Dad made the comment to me that “I sure did pick a great day to bring Angel home.” I laughed a little and then replied , “I didn’t pick it. God did.” I had called my riding teacher and asked if I could hang out with her during the morning while Dad was at work and we got ready to go pick Angel up. I helped feed her horses and she asked me to ride her new Arabian mare that morning. My friend was coming to spend the weekend with me and she met us at my riding teacher’s house that morning. It was too hot to do any heavy riding (although the Arabian I was riding didn’t seem to think so) and so we went on a trail ride in the woods. When we finished up, we sponged the horses off and let them back out in the pastures. Then we went inside and had some lunch and got ready to go get Angel. We hitched up the trailer and then we were on our way.
It was about three o’ clock when we got there. We discovered that the trailer had a flat tire when we got there and so Dad and my riding teacher’s husband and Angel’s owner (Mr.) put air in the tire and plugged it. I got all of the little stuff figured out and got everything together. Angel’s owner (Mr.) spoke to me and said that he had read my story and we talked for a few minutes about how good God is. He also told me that when they were looking for a horse, they didn’t really pick Angel. Apparently, she picked them. We settled up financially and then I went to get Angel and load her. She walked right on the trailer and we hooked her in. Then we closed the door.
When everyone was standing around talking for a minute, Angel’s owner (Mr.) touched my shoulder and asked me if he could pray over me and Angel before we left. Of course I said yes. He thanked God for all that He had brought to pass, and then he asked God to bless me and Angel with this new time in our lives. I think that was my favorite part of the day. We told them that they were welcome to come and visit her anytime they could. Then we all loaded up into the truck and started back to my house. It was a bittersweet moment for me, because I was so excited that my horse was finally coming home. But I knew that her owners were struggling with letting her go, too. I understood. I had already lost an Angel. Perhaps that was another reason that God had allowed me to lose Angel: so that I could better understand the owners’ loss when I got my horse.
It was about two hours before we got home. When we pulled up to our house (I hesitate to say “driveway” because of its length, lol), we parked and then I asked if we could pray before we even brought Angel off the trailer. My riding teacher’s husband prayed and then I prayed. I thanked God again and asked Him to allow me to use Angel for His glory, because she really is His horse. Then we got out and got Angel off the trailer. I led her around to her pasture and through the gate and then let her off the lead rope. She walked right in without any reservation as if she had been there a thousand times. She was alert, but not at all nervous, as most horses would have been. We watched her for a few minutes and then I showed my riding teacher the place where I was planning to ride and we gave her a tour of our house.
After an hour or so, when Angel was still totally relaxed, we said goodbye to my riding teacher and her husband. They wanted to go into town and get dinner and stay for the music (we live close to a tourist site). We ate dinner and my friend and I went back out to the shed to hang out and clean tack. I stayed up all night with Angel, talking to her about life and God while she grazed. My friend stayed up most of the night, but ended up crashing because of an allergy headache. We rode Angel for a little while the next morning, just walking her because she wasn’t used to the trail. We also gave her a bath later that afternoon, which she seemed to enjoy. I asked my sister to take some pictures for me so I could put them up for people to see. Check out this website if you want to see a few: http://acceptedjustasiam.blogspot.com/2010/07/some-favs.html
I can honestly say that I cannot think of another thing that I would have wanted for that day. I’ve had her for about two weeks now, and I am loving spending time with her. Of course, I am trying to get her in shape because she hasn’t been ridden in a while, and her stifle injury is a challenge to deal with. But so far, she has been just perfect. She hasn’t been any trouble (except when I am in a hurry and have to go somewhere, of course, lol), and she’s very friendly. Her ground manners are so good. She is very gentle and she hasn’t spooked at anything blindly. She is very level-headed and seems to know that there aren’t too many things around that are scary. She really is the perfect first horse. I can’t think of another thing I could ask. It’s all been so perfect. God knew exactly what I needed. I am still so amazed at what God has done with this whole story. It was like Christmas in July.

Angel is finally home.

I don’t know how to describe this journey. It’s been long and I don’t think it’s over. But I know that God has been faithful in every single part of this journey. If you want Him in your life, you will never regret it. He will always be there and He always cares, even when you sometimes believe that He doesn’t. I would beg you not to give in to fear and doubts that God doesn’t care. As I already stated in this story at least once, God’s love is not dependent on your circumstances. It is dependent only upon the finished work of the cross. And that does not change. It is ever constant and always available. If you are struggling with things in your life, I would beg you to turn them over to God. If you don’t think that He can do anything with it, then check out Romans 8:28-“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” And believe me, no matter what you’re facing in your life, whether it be disappointments, failures, grief, or something else, God can take care of it. He will be there for you to hold on to, and He will be faithful to love you. God is always faithful. God is always trustworthy. It’s never easy to let God take care of things. Trusting God with your life is close to impossible when you don’t spend time with Him. So I urge you to get to know Him. Talk to God, read His Word and learn why He is trustworthy and just how faithful He is. You will never regret giving your life to God.

Psalm 37:4-“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.”

If you have any questions about my story or want to talk with me, I would love to hear from you! If you want to know how you can know God as your personal Savior and Lord, I can show through Scripture how you can do that, as well. My email address is hoofprintsofhope@gmail.com

Please don’t hesitate to write me!

Kristen Langner

Some favs

Christmas in July

Angel is coming home on Friday.

Hehe. My Christmas really did happen in July this year. My Christmas Angel is finally coming!!! =)

2 days, 9 hours, 24 minutes until the day she comes home. =) Technically, it'll be another 15 hours after that, because we won't be picking her up at midnight on July 16th. Haha. But yeah.

It's really cool when lifetime dreams come true...but it's even better when you know that it is God's will for your life! God is SO AMAZING! =) =) =)

His mercy is so wonderful. I am constantly amazed by His mercy and love. Honestly. How could God send His own Son to die for me, a horrible sinner, so that He could forgive me? Why would He want to forgive me and have a relationship with someone as broken as me? He is giving me a beautiful horse, and I don't deserve her at all! =)

Thank You, Jesus!


And it's only 3 days away!!!! =O

God's Angel (Part Ten)

Part Ten

On June 3^rd, I received a second email from the adoption foundation. They wrote with a very upbeat attitude that my vet was wonderful, but said nothing else.

On June 4^th, I went to some friends’ house and told them I was hopefully getting a horse, because I still hadn’t heard for sure. Later that day, I received a phone call from my Mom telling me that the adoption foundation had emailed me again. They apologized for “jumping the gun” and explained that their “rule” was not to adopt out horses to first-time horse owners, but said that “I had actively worked with horses according to my references.” They told me to call them for the applicant screening. It sounded like a “yes.”

On June 7^th, when I was back home I called the adoption foundation. I was pretty nervous (I think a lot of people would be). They asked me some questions and I couldn’t answer quite all of them. I asked the placement coordinator if they still wanted me to board Angel somewhere else. She said that she thought we should board her somewhere else for 3 months while we were finishing the fencing. I had to call the current adopter (owner) to set up a vet appointment for Angel and she asked how everything was going with the adoption foundation. I explained that they wanted me to board her for three months. She offered to call the foundation and call us back when she was finished talking with them. When she called back, she explained that the placement coordinator became confused and thought that I wanted Angel the next day, and thought that if we boarded her somewhere else, then we could finish the fencing and see her at the same time. We exchanged an email or two after that to confirm what we meant. All I have left to do is finish the fencing and run-in-shed and send in pictures for approval, and then Angel can come home.

I set up a vet appointment for the next day to check on the lameness that she had and get her regular shots. I was so nervous about the lameness, because if she had a major health problem that would become worse, then I couldn’t ride her. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do. But I prayed and asked God to be with me, and help me to trust Him, because He had brought me this far. Well, the vet arrived and was wonderful. I really loved her. She checked Angel over and gave her the shots and took a coggins test (blood test). She had me lead Angel around on a relatively flat area so she could see her trot and find out what the issue was. Apparently, Angel has a stifle (knee) injury caused by being out of shape. The treatment is a painkiller and exercise to get her back in shape. After that, it should clear up and Angel should be fine.

Angel is coming home. I am counting the days. I would tell you a number, but I am almost afraid to, as the date we chose has already changed more than once. But God’s brought me this far. If He’s gonna change everything now, I know He’ll be with me through it all.

Well, that brings me to the end of this story. Unless God brings anything else unexpected up or asks me to write more. I have shared this story with so many people already, even though it isn’t quite complete. I am praying that God will use this story for His glory. He may use it to bring Christians closer to Him. He may use it to teach people that He really does care. He may use it to show people that waiting is really worth it in the end. Who knows? He may even use it to bring people to Christ. I don’t know how He’ll use it. But I know that He didn’t bring me through this for nothing. He didn’t ask me to write it for nothing. I am going to ask that you pray that God will use my story. I don’t care if you pray that He’ll use it in a small way or not. Just pray that He’ll use it. In fact, ask God what you should pray for specifically about it. And please, share this. I want people to know just how awesome my God is. I want them to know how much He loves each and every one of them. I want them to know that waiting for something and praying about it always brings amazing results. I want them to know that even though I have gone through pain and loss, God gave me joy in the midst of it. And He even brought me a “happy ever after” ending. I won’t promise what He’ll do in your life. But I will tell you this: I know my God cares. I know that He was with me every step of the way. I know that He cried with me when I lost my first Angel. And I know that He is rejoicing with me now.

But Angel is not the most important thing. Oh sure, I am ecstatic about having a horse after so many years of waiting. Believe me, I am! I am counting the days until she comes home. But Angel is not the reason I have written this story. God is. I fully believe that the reason He brought me through this is so that I could be closer to Him and share who He is with others. That is what is most important. My relationship with God is so different than it was two years ago. It is so different than it was in November. I have a depth of love for God that I have never had before. I have a love for others that only comes from Him. I have a peace that I cannot understand. I have a joy that comes from really knowing that God loves me and is always with me through every trial that may come my way. I cannot even describe it. After everything, I am so thrilled that God brought me through this. Oh, don’t take me wrong, it was hard, and still is. But God brought me through it. I learned so much and I wouldn’t trade my relationship with God for ANYTHING. I wouldn’t have wanted it to happen any other way. I am so glad that God brought this situation into my life, and I pray that He will use it for His glory.

Every day, I learn more about His love. The depth of it just astounds me. And to think that He loved me even before I was born, when He knew that I would despise and reject Him. When He knew I would spit in His face and mock Him. God is just so incredible. To Him be all the glory forever.

Psalm 150- ¹Praise ye the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary: praise him in the firmament of his power. ²Praise him for his mighty acts: praise him according to his excellent greatness.

³Praise him with the sound of the trumpet: praise him with the psaltery and harp.

⁴Praise him with the timbrel and dance: praise him with stringed instruments and organs.

⁵Praise him upon the loud cymbals: praise him upon the high sounding cymbals.

⁶Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD.

God's Angel (Part Nine)

Part Nine

I wasn’t really sure what to think about going to see this horse. I wasn’t going to write her off, just because she didn’t canter, but the wound from trying to lease Angel and Angel moving away was still too fresh. And why did her name have to Angel? I prayed those next two days. A lot. I asked God to help me through this. I also worked it out so that my friend could come with me to look at the horse. That was hugely amazing.

Well, Friday came around, and I went to my riding teacher’s house. I helped out with feeding and with the preschool group that she had come out that day and tried not to think about Angel being gone from the property. It was my first time at my riding teacher’s house when Angel wasn’t there. It was not easy. The field looked so empty without her. After the group of preschoolers had left, we went and picked up some lunch and headed over to see this Standardbred mare. I told my riding teacher that I honestly was not that interested in this horse, but I didn’t want to write her off just because she didn’t canter. When we arrived at the owner’s house, we spoke with her about the horse a little bit. Angel was from a Standardbred Rescue Foundation and they had her for seven years. I looked out the window to see her tossing her head around.

After a few minutes, we went outside to see Angel. She is gorgeous. She is black with a small coronet (white marking just above her ankle) on her right rear foot and she has dapples. I was the first one in the pasture and she walked up to meet me. We spent a few minutes getting to know her and seeing how her manners were on the ground. She was so sweet. After a little while, we tacked her up and I rode her around the pasture for a few minutes to see how she worked out. She even picked up a canter for me! She has such smooth gaits. I really loved riding her. My friend rode her and my riding teacher rode her. She was totally fine for all of them. She had a minor limp, which we were a little concerned about. Overall, she was an amazing horse. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get her or not, but I definitely wanted to see her again.

Well, I went home and told my parents about her and the next morning, we called my riding teacher and Angel’s owner to find out when I could see her again. It was Saturday and my riding teacher and her husband were kind enough to bring Angel to their house so I could ride her on a flat area. I was expecting Angel to be upset, since she was away from her house and in a new place. But she wasn’t. She was very calm. I brought her carrots and apples and groomed her and tacked her up. Then I took her out to the ring to ride. My opinion the day before was only reinforced. My riding teacher told me if I didn’t get her, then she was going to! She really recommended that I get Angel, as long as the vet said that her limp wasn’t going to be a huge problem. I made the decision to get her and we took her back over to her owner’s house to let them know. As we drove back to Angel’s house, my riding teacher asked me if she could give Angel’s owner this story, because she thought knowing what God had brought me through until now would mean a lot to her. I told my riding teacher that I wrote the story to share it; I wasn’t going to keep it a secret anymore.

That day, I tried to make the painful decision to allow myself to hope again. To believe that everything would actually work out so that I could get this Angel.

The owner told me that she wasn’t in a huge hurry to find a home for her, and so she would keep her at her house until I was ready to take her. We didn’t have anything ready. We still had to mow and put up fencing and clean up the pasture where Angel would be. There was so much to be done before she could come home.

On Thursday, May 27^th, the owner’s daughter added me as a friend on facebook. I didn’t think a whole lot of it until she sent me a message that morning. She said that her “Mom handed her a stack of papers and said, "Read this. It's an incredible story." ” And she began to read my story about God and what He had brought me through with “my” Angel. Well, I knew my riding teacher was going to give them my story, but I didn’t realize just how much it would mean to them. The owner’s daughter told me that when she finished reading my story, she hugged her Mom with tears in her eyes and said that she didn’t want her Angel to go to anyone but me. Call me sappy or whatever you want, but I cried when I read that. It was so clear that this was God working in my life. I just didn’t understand why a God whom I had had so little faith in would do such an amazing thing in my life. Why would God want to bless me, after I had failed Him again and again and again? Why does He still love me when I mess up so much? Why does He still want to give me an Angel when I wanted to give up on Him? It just astounds me. There is no way to describe how I feel.

I am in absolute awe of God and who He is. I do not understand why He loves me. I do not deserve His love. I have messed up more times than I can count. I have denied Him, perhaps not with words, but certainly with my actions. More than once. I have chased other desires and interests instead of chasing Him. I have been unfaithful. Giving Him the scraps from my table, when He deserves the very best. And yet, He still chases me. He still loves me. He is still faithful. He still forgives me. He even forgets the things I have done against Him (Isaiah 43:25). I cannot even comprehend the compassion and mercy that He shows me every single day. God truly is awesome.

Well, here I am. June 2^nd. I am crazy, but I am sharing this story about her before I am even sure she is mine. We are waiting to hear back from the adoption foundation, because they have to approve this adoption. I received an email this afternoon, asking me if I would be willing to board her somewhere else, other than my property until I learn a lot about owning a horse, because they don’t just adopt out horses to first-time horse owners. I am really hoping that I won’t have to do that. I am praying that I won’t have to do that. I will be writing another part to tell how everything turns out, but in the meantime, I ask that you please pray for me. Pray that I would have the faith that God wants me to have. Pray that I would trust God with whatever happens. Pray that God’s will would be done, and that I will accept it, rejoicing. Even if I lose two Angels.

God's Angel (Part Eight)

Part Eight

Well, I thought this story was over. I thought it was finished. I had not planned on writing another part. My story was over and I was done sharing. But I forgot something: this is God’s story, not mine. And He’s not done yet.

So, here I am continuing to share what I’ve been going through. Never mind the fact that I never share this kind of stuff, especially when I’m in the middle of it. But as I said: this is God’s story. And I’m not sharing it for sympathy. I’m sharing it because I want everyone to know how incredibly amazing my God is. I want to tell people what He has done for me, and just how wonderful it is to have a God who loves me even when I am unlovable. I want people to see that God is more than just a way to Heaven. He’s more than a religion. He’s more than just Someone to call on when you’re in trouble. He is more than Someone to glue your life back together when it falls apart.

Well, I’ve been trying to trust God with what He’s been doing. But I’ll be the first to tell you: I’ve been failing miserably. I have lost hope. I have lost perspective. I have been discontent and miserable. I have dwelt on all of the negative things. I have been totally void of joy. What kind of Christian is that? Good grief. I’ve failed pretty miserably. I’m such a pathetic excuse for a Christian. But God hasn’t given up on me. He hasn’t left me behind in the dirt. He’s been there every day, every hour, every moment. At times, I didn’t think He was there. I couldn’t “feel” Him. But I tried to believe that He really was there. And looking back, I know He was. It was those times that He was even closer to me than the times that I could “feel” Him.

I know for a fact that if I were God, I would have given up on me. I would have left me in the dirt. But praise God that I’m not God!

After everything had happened with Angel, I had pretty much given up on having a horse. I couldn’t see myself loving another horse. I wasn’t really looking, because I just couldn’t. I lost hope of ever getting my own horse. But I kept living, trying to fight the depression. I did school. I cleaned the house. I helped Mom with her goats. And I tried not to think about horses. When people would talk about me getting a horse, I would listen, but that was about all. I didn’t believe it would ever happen.

I had just found out that Angel was gone. I was never going to see her again. It was bittersweet, because her owner finally could see her more often and it sounded like Angel had a wonderful new place. But I would never see her again.

On May 17^th, my riding teacher sent me a message telling me that she wanted to read the rest of my story, when was it coming? She told me God was so amazing and that she had a story to tell me on Friday, when I was coming over to see her, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to wait that long to tell me. Well, I was thinking “What in the world is so exciting? Should I be concerned?” I chatted with her on facebook for a few minutes and she told me to pray and that I would have to wait until Friday to hear whatever it was she had to tell me. I emailed her the rest of this story so she could read it without having to wait for it and then waited. Those two days were definitely not fun. I was agonizing over what on earth my riding teacher had to tell me.

On my birthday, she called me to tell me “happy birthday” and I guess she just couldn’t wait anymore, so she told me the story. There were two horses that she had heard about that she was willing to take me to see. The first one she told me about was a 12 year-old pinto mare who was for an intermediate rider. I told my riding teacher that I was interested in that one, and I wanted to go see her. The second one was a 19 year-old black Standardbred mare that didn’t canter. She had called the owner of the Standardbred and set it up so that I could go see her on Friday, because she was convinced that this was a God thing. Honestly, I wasn’t horribly interested, because I love cantering and I had never been interested in Standardbreds.

My riding teacher told me that her name is Angel.

God's Angel (Part Seven)

Part Seven

I guess I will sum this story up by saying that God is still good. He understands better than anyone. He is still God and He is still in control. And He is still working. I don’t think He’s done with this story. I found this verse recently and I actually posted it as a status on facebook.

>>>Habakkuk 1:5

"Look among the nations, and see;

wonder and be astounded.

For I am doing a work in your days

that you would not believe if told.”

I don’t think God is done with this story yet. I don’t know what He’s going to do or what He is doing. I know He’s doing so much in my heart. I hope He can use this for His glory in someone else’s life.

I went to visit Appalachian Bible College recently and heard this song. It brought back everything. The memories flooded and I was overwhelmed. Blessed be the Lord.

“Blessed be the Name of the Lord” by Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name

In the land that is plentiful

Where Your streams of abundance flow

Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's 'all as it should be'

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

I’d like to say that I am thankful for God’s mercy and patience, because He has got to be sick of hearing about my problems by now. I’m sure there have been many times God has slapped His forehead when I talk to Him because I am being so stubborn or so dense. (Haha, if God slaps His forehead) But I thank Him for His mercy that is in the heavens and His faithfulness that reaches the clouds (Psalm 36:5). I am so thankful for Psalm 103:11-12 –“ ¹¹ For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; ¹² As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us.” I’m just gonna say that if I were God, I’d be sick to death of me. I’d have given up on me.

To conclude, I’m going to post a passage from Lamentations that has been a major help to me. It has been a source of strength and an amazing encouragement. To God be all the glory.

>>>Lamentations 3:1-41

“ ¹ I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of His wrath.
² He has led me and made me walk
In darkness and not in light.
³ Surely He has turned His hand against me
Time and time again throughout the day.
⁴ He has aged my flesh and my skin,
And broken my bones.
⁵ He has besieged me
And surrounded me with bitterness and woe.
⁶ He has set me in dark places
Like the dead of long ago.
⁷ He has hedged me in so that I cannot get out;
He has made my chain heavy.
⁸ Even when I cry and shout,
He shuts out my prayer.
⁹ He has blocked my ways with hewn stone;
He has made my paths crooked.
¹⁰ He has been to me a bear lying in wait,
Like a lion in ambush.
¹¹ He has turned aside my ways and torn me in pieces;
He has made me desolate.
¹² He has bent His bow
And set me up as a target for the arrow.
¹³ He has caused the arrows of His quiver
To pierce my loins.
¹⁴ I have become the ridicule of all my people—
Their taunting song all the day.
¹⁵ He has filled me with bitterness,
He has made me drink wormwood.
¹⁶ He has also broken my teeth with gravel,
And covered me with ashes.
¹⁷ You have moved my soul far from peace;
I have forgotten prosperity.
¹⁸ And I said, “My strength and my hope
Have perished from the LORD.”
¹⁹ Remember my affliction and roaming,
The wormwood and the gall.
²⁰ My soul still remembers
And sinks within me.
²¹ This I recall to my mind,
Therefore I have hope.
²² Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
²³ They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
²⁴ “ The LORD is my portion,” says my soul,

“ Therefore I hope in Him!”
²⁵ The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the soul who seeks Him.
²⁶ It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the LORD.
²⁷ It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.
²⁸ Let him sit alone and keep silent,
Because God has laid it on him;
²⁹ Let him put his mouth in the dust—
There may yet be hope.
³⁰ Let him give his cheek to the one who strikes him,
And be full of reproach.
³¹ For the Lord will not cast off forever.
³² Though He causes grief,
Yet He will show compassion
According to the multitude of His mercies.
³³ For He does not afflict willingly,
Nor grieve the children of men.
³⁴ To crush under one’s feet
All the prisoners of the earth,
³⁵ To turn aside the justice due a man
Before the face of the Most High,
³⁶ Or subvert a man in his cause—
The Lord does not approve.
³⁷ Who is he who speaks and it comes to pass,
When the Lord has not commanded it?
³⁸ Is it not from the mouth of the Most High
That woe and well-being proceed?
³⁹ Why should a living man complain,
A man for the punishment of his sins?
⁴⁰ Let us search out and examine our ways,
And turn back to the LORD;
⁴¹ Let us lift our hearts and hands
To God in heaven.”

Written by Kristen Langner

Completed on May 14^th, Thursday, 2010

God's Angel (Part One)

Part One

Well, I guess I will start this by saying that writing this is something extremely abnormal for me. I don’t really tell people about things that happen in my life; I especially don’t share things when 1) I’m talking to people I don’t know very well, or 2) I’m talking about something that is really bothering me. So this is unusual for me to be doing.

First of all, I will explain why I’m sharing this with you. I want to be short and clear in explaining my purpose. I am not writing this to obtain sympathy from anyone. I am not writing this because I think I’m better than anyone else or that I’ve gone through more than anyone else. Quite the contrary, actually. If there is anyone else out there that has struggled with bitterness or resentment toward God or life in general, I want to be sympathetic. I am not condoning those reactions, but I want you to know that you’re not the only one. I have not suffered any more trials than any of you out there. I would imagine that most of you don’t want to share the trials that you have gone through, as I have not wanted to share mine. And I will not condemn you for that, but I believe that writing this is something God wants me to do. I think that He should get the glory for even the things that don’t seem so beautiful to us. Because God can use even the ugly, broken things in life.

To state my purpose simply: I want God to use this situation in my life for His glory. I want Him to use it in other people’s lives. I want Him to have glory in whatever may occur in my life. Give praise to my God, because He is all I am and He is the only reason I am writing this. I don’t deserve any praise, because I have done nothing right. Give praise to my God, for He is worthy.

Secondly, I ask, if God teaches you something through this, that you please tell me. It doesn’t have to be in a comment. You are more than welcome to send me an email or a message if you have any questions about what I said or if you want to talk about it further. I would love the opportunity to pray for you. I don’t want to hear thanks for anything that I have said or done, because this is not because of me. This is because of God. I want to point to Jesus and give my God the glory. But if God shows you something through this, I really would love to hear from you, even if all you have to say is that God is awesome. I want to praise Him with you.

Thirdly, I do not want to condone any of my reactions to this situation in my life. I am far from perfect, and I would hope that people would have way more faith than I do. I admit that I do have a lack of faith. But as the father said in Mark 9:24, “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!” I am weak, but He is strong. As I am not perfect, I hope that you do not take this at face value and just accept every word I say. Test it, pray about it, study God’s word and meditate on it so that you can know what God thinks about this. Because I am going to make mistakes in this. I have no doubt that I already have. So, please, prayerfully consider what I have to say.

Fourthly, it may sound like I am angry at people in this story or holding grudges toward them. I just want to say that I don’t. I love them all, and even though I don’t necessarily agree with them, I have forgiven them. So please, don’t anyone assume that I am holding grudges against you, if you’re in this story. The reason you are in this story is because God used you in my life.

Most of you haven’t heard this story. Some of you have already heard the facts. But there is much more than just the facts. This is a story about hope and disappointment. This is a story about something that God used in my life to draw me close to Him. There have been many things in the recent years that God has used to draw me to Him. But this particular situation was different. It really tested my faith. It still is testing my faith every day as I question whether God really is there. I question whether He really loves me. I ask what He is trying to teach me. I wonder if He really understands. My biggest question still stands at this moment.

“Why, Lord?”

I would say that 99% of you know that I love horses. I would think that that is pretty obvious. I have always loved horses for as long as I can remember. I wasn’t addicted until a few years ago; I decided that I pretty much HAD to have riding lessons. I think I was almost thirteen at the time. I begged my Mom to let me start riding lessons. It turned out that my piano teacher’s sister was taking riding lessons with someone who gave riding lessons as a ministry for God and charged a very inexpensive price. Well, after at least few months of my pleas, my Mom finally let me start riding lessons when I turned thirteen. I fell in love with horses that day.

Over the next year or so, I learned everything I could about horses. I was determined that I was going to get one as soon as my friend and I could afford it. I look back and laugh now, in a way. We didn’t have room for a horse on our property and I would never have been able to board. But I watched websites and bulletins for horses for sale. In my thirteen-year-old mind, I so was going to get a horse. I actually tried to talk my parents into leasing my favorite horse at my riding teacher’s farm. Obviously, that didn’t go over very well.

Well, during my 14^th year, my parents decided that we were going to move to a place where we could have some land. At first, I was sooo excited because I thought that I was going to have a horse by the next spring. We did manage to sell our house, but we didn’t have a house to live in yet (we bought land to build a house). That next spring we were living in a rental house, just down the road from our old house because my Dad didn’t have a job where we wanted to move. My friends had stopped talking to me since we had said we were moving. We had changed churches. There was a lot of stress in the house. I was beginning to lose my hope that I would get a horse until the next spring. I wrestled with deep depression during my 15^th year that I hope I will never have to fight again. Hard doesn’t even begin to describe it. I lost hope for a future. God was the One who pulled me through. I would never have survived it if He hadn’t come in.

I have grown up in a Christian family, and I came to a knowledge of Jesus Christ as my Savior at the age of five. Actually, it was the day before I turned five when we were on our way to Virginia. I always loved God and I wanted to serve Him with all my heart. But I had never known God on a personal level, where I actually knew that He cared and didn’t just read that He loves me. I found Jesus during my 15^th year. I found Him on the real level that I had never known Him before. We were visiting churches, because we had no home church; and so I had to find God on my own, because we were in a different church every Sunday for a while. I had to search for Him and seek Him, because He wasn’t just handed to me anymore. I drew close to God. I learned about His love and His care. I learned that He was who He said He was and is who He says He is. I learned about His comfort and about His protection. I learned about His constant presence and encouragement. More than anything, I learned that God wanted me to wait for horses.

There was a six-month period of waiting time between Christmas of my 14^th year and my 15^th birthday that next year. I had no contact with horses whatsoever. I craved horses. I did not have any clue why God didn’t want me to be around horses. I wanted so badly to be around horses. But for a couple of months, I didn’t tell anyone. I was scared that Mom would say “no” if I asked her if I could see horses again. I brought it up once or twice, but no one ever did anything about it. I emailed my riding teacher just after Christmas to ask how she was doing. I still remember the email about a grey Arabian horse named “Angel” who was being boarded at her house. I was so frustrated that I couldn’t go meet her, because I loved Arabs. I didn’t understand why God brought her along after I left my riding lessons.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I asked my Mom if I could go riding for my 15^th birthday. She said “yes.” I was elated. To put it mildly. Those six months of waiting were so hard. Although it was a one-time riding lesson, I was still excited. The day that I went, I asked my riding teacher if I could ride my favorite horse, Rocky, bareback and take him over a jump. I had such an amazing lesson! It felt sooo good to be around horses again. I also made time to go meet Angel, the grey Arabian that my riding teacher had told me about. Ohhh, she was gorgeous! Honestly, that was about as far as my thoughts went about her at the time, because I loved Rocky.

My riding teacher has horses for a ministry, and she asks groups of people to come and ride. In the summer of 2008, I was able to share the gospel with an eight-year-old girl from New York as I lead Sassy around the ring. I hope that she never forgot that conversation.

In the fall of 2008, I talked my Mom into letting me go riding again. My riding teacher told me that I really should ride Angel, because she thought that I would love her. I really wanted to, but my riding teacher wanted to watch me, just to make sure it would be safe, and she had to teach a lesson while I rode. So I ended up riding Rocky that day.

My riding teacher asked me to come and help again with another group in 2008. I had so much fun that day in November. I helped with the horses and I even had a chance to ride Rocky on the trail. He was being such a sweetheart that day (which is very odd for Rocky). It was a perfect day for riding, too. The leaves were changing colors and the horses were feeling really good. When the group that came that day left, a couple of girls and I stayed afterwards to ride. They rode their horses that they boarded there, and my riding teacher encouraged me to ride Angel that day. I prepared to ride her, and since she had not been ridden in months, we made her run around the ring so that she would be a bit calmer when I rode. Angel is a very affectionate horse and she hadn’t had any attention for months, so when I groomed her she was all over me. I am not kidding. She absolutely loved the grooming. I rode Angel for probably an hour or so that day, and it was one of the best rides I have ever had. She had a choppy stride as she had not been ridden for a while and was out of practice, but she was so full of energy and I had a blast riding her. When I finished up, one of the girls there asked me to leave Angel in the smaller ring so that she could work with her. So I left her in the small ring that day. She hesitated about leaving the gate when I left her in the ring. She was so happy to have the attention. I think she liked me.

After that day, I rode Angel almost every time I went riding. I still loved Rocky, but my riding teacher had leased him out to someone and so he was being ridden almost every day. I was the only one who ever really rode Angel. Her owner boarded her there because it was closer to where she lived at the time and she “could see her more often.” Her owner was busy with being a lawyer and having two young children. Because Angel is such an energetic horse, most of my riding teacher’s students couldn’t ride her.

Sunlight on Manes

Okay..I actually don't write poetry...

But sometimes I can't actually write anything out other than to put it in free verse and I can't even say if it's still considered poetry. I can't even believe I'm actually posting this. But anyways, here they are.


"Will there ever be another you?"

One day I met you,

But I did not know you.

Another day, I learned you,

And I fell in love.

Hard I fell, I fell for you.

And I prayed for you.

Then I waited and prayed more.

A long, long time I waited for you.

Then I had given up on you.

And then I heard about you again.

And I was elated.

I dreamed and hoped for us.

I fantasized about us.

Then you were gone, gone were you.

At first I wouldn’t believe it.

But I couldn’t hide my sorrow forever.

And now I wonder, I wonder, I wonder.

Will there ever be another you?

~Dedicated to Angel,

January 12, Tuesday, 2010

"Whispers"

I thought it [my heart] was beyond repair.

I didn’t even know if You cared.

You were silent.

I couldn’t feel You.

But then You whispered something I had forgotten.

You whispered that You love me.

You told me that You still care.

You told me that You have a plan.

You said, “I’m still God.”

And I know I can trust You.

I just forgot how much

You still love me.

~January 30, 2010

God's been asking me lately

What am I willing to give up for Him?

I was reading Genesis 22 where Abraham is asked to sacrifice Isaac on the mountain when God asked me, "Would you do the same?"

That got me thinking. Am I really willing to give up anything for God? My wish to say "yes" isn't necessarily true about anything. What if He asked me to give up my family? My comforts? What if He asked me to give up horses? It's definitely thought-provoking. I want to say "yes", but He challenged me lately.



He asked me to give up Angel for Him.



He asked me if I would be willing to give up horses at all. He asked me if He was most important. If He mattered more to me than anything else in the world.

And you know what?

I don't want to say "yes" to that.

But I'm going to anyway. I'm going to make God most important in my life. He matters more to me than anything.

Christmas snow

Well, I think we're gonna have a white Christmas. They're predicting snow for Christmas Eve and Christmas day. But even if that doesn't come, we've got about 6-10 inches(give or take a few) right now and another 14-22 inches tonight and tomorrow. We'll see if we actually get that much. =P Maybe I should try that snow horse again...

6 days, 1 hour, 15 minutes until Christmas Eve. =) =) =)

Okay. So, I'm having a good day.

I almost hate to say this yet, because it's not finalized, but I will anyway. I cannot believe it, but I am going to lease Angel. Check out one of my favs of her here. I don't know any date for when I'll have her yet, but God has totally done this. I was praying about possibly buying her last November and have continued to pray about it until now. I have just started seriously thinking of getting a horse (as in going to look at prospects) and her owner told my riding teacher that she wanted to lease Angel out for a year! I cannot believe how amazing God is. There are no words to express my gratitude or my ecstacy. God is the most amazing ever! =)

I was at a Christmas cantata at church tonight and was reminded that God didn't come to earth just to die for sinners. He came to die for me. Because He loves me. I have no idea how to handle that. I'm overwhelmed with how good God is to me.

Also, I went outside when I got back from church. It is a clear night. I can see many stars. Many falling stars. I don't think I have ever seen such a meteor shower in my life. I think I saw about 50 falling stars in the time span of about two hours. And I only came in because it was getting late. It is beautiful. I love our sky. You could never see this many stars in the city. Ya know what else?
I don't think I have ever made a wish on a star.
They always go too fast and I couldn't think fast enough. But tonight, I have nothing to wish for. =)
And by the way...the peak of the meteor shower is after midnight.

9 days, 23 hours, 49 minutes until Christmas Eve.


I had an amazing time with Angel yesterday. I talked to her while she ate. I groomed her and gave her an apple. I hung out with her and played with her. I ran around with her. I rode her bareback. And I just enjoyed spoiling her. I think she enjoyed it, too. =)

Christmas countdown

14 days, 3 hours, 39 minutes until Christmas Eve. =D

Just thought I'd let everybody know.

14 days.

2 weeks.

Where has the year gone?

(2 days until I get to see Angel [I hope] again!)

Gah, this is gonna be a long week.

I haven't been riding since September 16th. And I'm going on Saturday, I think. =)


This is gonna be a looooooonnnnggg week. =P

Withdrawal Again

Yup. I'm in withdrawal from horses again. And it's very sad. I miss them a LOT! But I can't see any right now. I don't know when I'll get to go see horses again... =(



...Really, I can't be the only one in the world who has withdrawal...


Besides, it's been over a month now! =(

Day 6, 7, and 8

Hehe. I'm falling behind...whoops. =(


51. Walks on nights with a full moon.
52. Autumn and the GLORIOUS colors of the leaves.
53. A piano. =)
54. Woods to walk in again.
55. Clear blue autumn days.
56. Lemonade.
57. Sweaters.
58. Hoodies.
59. Days that start cloudy and end sunny.
60. Christmas.
61. Easter.
62. Homemade chicken soup (without onions).
63. Homemade chocolate chip cookies.
64. Homemade peanut butter cookies.
65. The smell of fresh hay.
66. The smell of molasses and horse treats.
67. At least one adopted mom and multiple adopted aunts.
68. Christmas lights.
69. Candles.
70. Corn chowder on Christmas eve.
71. Wassail anytime (but mostly Christmas eve)
72. Cream cheese walnut muffins.
73. Peppermint soap/lotion or just peppermint leaves (especially in tea!)
74. Coffee (sometimes)
75. Science books.
76. Nonfiction horse books for educational purposes (only I don't get school credit for them. =( )
77. Notebooks for writing in.
78. Quiznos.
79. MY SUPER-AMAZING RIDING TEACHER!!!
80. MY SUPER AMAZING MOM AND DAD WHO TAKE ME TO MY RIDING TEACHER'S HOUSE!!!


(For the record, these things are NOT in any particular order. They are written as I think of them)

Day 4

Thank You, Lord for:

31. Horse slobber.
32. Horse hugs.
33. Horse kisses.
34. A horse's unconditional love.
35. A horse's amazing ability to distract me from my issues and make me feel beautiful, even when I'm covered in dirt, sweat, and horse slobber.
36. The breath of horses in my face.
37. That horses don't talk back.
38. A horse shoulder to cry on.
39. A soft velvety horse nose to kiss.
40. A horse neck to hug.

Day 2

Thank you, Lord for:


11. Bible time over a beautiful mountain sunrise.
12. Cool weather (and heat running inside, of course).
13. Warm weather (and a/c inside).
14. My Mom's willingness to take me to riding lessons.
15. Breezy weather.
16. The gift of horses and everything that comes with them.
17. Orange juice.
18. Our cocker spaniels (sometimes). (lol)
19. My not-yet-complete grooming kit.
20. God's mercy is new every morning.