Verses

Habakkuk 2:3-4

"For the vision is yet for an appointed time;
But at the end it will speak, and it will not lie.
Though it tarries, wait for it;
Because it will surely come,
It will not tarry.
Behold the proud,
His soul is not upright in him;
But the just shall live by his faith."


Habakkuk 3:17-19

"Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;
Though the labor of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;
Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls—
Yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will joy in the God of my salvation.
The LORD God is my strength;
He will make my feet like deer’s feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills."

God's Angel (Part Five)

Part Five

It took me a while to get past those questions. I don’t think that God ever wants people to be hurt. I don’t think He ever wants us to go through pain. Which lead me to ask why He would allow it to happen. He has the power to stop the pain. Why would He let it happen if He loves me so much? He knew how much I loved Angel. He knew how much I wanted her. He knew how I would feel. He knew how I would react. He knew how often I had prayed about her. How could He allow something like that to happen to me if He loves me so much?

But something I’m learning: God’s love is not dependent on other Christians. God’s love is not dependent on what happens in my life. God’s love is dependent on one thing and one thing only. Jesus Christ’s love was completed and proven upon the cross of Jesus Christ 2000 years ago. “Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (John 15:13)

I guess my biggest question to God is this: “Why did You bring it up in the first place?” He knew how much I loved her. He knew how I would react and how I would feel. My only thought is that He wanted to use it in my life to make me more like Him. My greatest desire is to be like Him. But couldn’t He have used something else to make me more like Him? He could have just left Angel well enough alone. But then again, Romans 8:28 says “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” I know I love God. And I really want to believe that this will turn out for good. But some days, I just want to scream at God. I want to know why. Some days I just want to quit on God. He just won’t tell me why. Perhaps there are only answers to that question in Heaven.

When it comes right down to it, I know I couldn’t quit on God. I couldn’t live without Him. He’s been my comfort through it all. He has always been there. He knows. He understands, even though no one else I know does. It’s amazing how much it means when someone actually truly understands what you’re going through. Especially when there literally is no one else.

I haven’t cried outwardly for a while. But sometimes I cry inside. I think He understands the silent tears.

I try not to talk about it anymore, because there is nothing more to say. I don’t have it all straight. I don’t know what God has for me in this. I don’t understand the purpose in this situation, but I know that God has a reason for it. I hope that God can use my story in someone else’s life, because I know I am not the only one to suffer disappointments.

It has been four months since that day I found out I wasn’t going to get her. I should be over it by now. It shouldn’t bother me anymore. Especially considering I never believed it would happen in the first place. On beautiful days, it is very hard for me to not think about it, because it would have been a perfect day to ride. If nothing had changed, I would have her by now.

But I guess that wasn’t God’s will for my life.

I just found out that Angel has moved away from the farm where I met her. The farm where most of this story occurred. Her owner moved her closer to her house so that she could see her more often. Angel is finally back with her owner. It is a bittersweet feeling for me. I think that God has answered that prayer that I prayed two years ago. But I will never see her again. I never got to say goodbye.

The other thing for me was the fact that I have been struggling with wanting to hope. I don’t know how to hope for the future anymore. I don’t know how to hope that I will ever have a horse. I really felt like God had given me hope and then torn it away again. I was holding on to Psalm 37:4 –“Delight yourself also in the LORD, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” I really thought that God was going to give me Angel. But I think I was expecting God to give me Angel because I was delighting in Him. But that’s not what the verse says. It says to “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart.” God is God. He doesn’t have to do anything for me. I haven’t done God any favors by delighting myself in Him, and even if I had, He still wouldn’t owe me anything.

But one of my sisters said something to me recently. She said that I shouldn’t say that God gave me hope when I was going to get Angel. Maybe she’s right. I always had hope. I still do. I have the biggest God ever. Jeremiah 14:22 (ESV) says, “Are there any among the false gods of the nations that can bring rain? Or can the heavens give showers? Are you not he, O LORD our God? We set our hope on you, for you do all these things.”

Another sister told me that God doesn’t want things like that to happen to me. She said that God is just as hurt over the situation as I am. She thinks that God is weeping with me.

Some things I'm thankful for

1. God's forgiveness.
2. God's Love.
3. The promise of Christ's return.
4. God's faithfulness.
5. God's omniscience.
6. God's goodness.
7. Innocent little girl grins.
8. Crayons and paper and a child's imagination.
9. Promises kept.
10. The hope I have in Jesus Christ.

Some verses that really hit me

(All are KJV)

(I especially was hit by the first one)

Psalm 119:71
It is good for me that I have been afflicted; that I might learn thy statutes.

Psalm 119:82
Mine eyes fail for thy word, saying, When wilt thou comfort me?

Psalm 119:111
Thy testimonies have I taken as an heritage for ever: for they are the rejoicing of my heart.

Psalm 119:116
Uphold me according unto thy word, that I may live: and let me not be ashamed of my hope.

Okay..I actually don't write poetry...

But sometimes I can't actually write anything out other than to put it in free verse and I can't even say if it's still considered poetry. I can't even believe I'm actually posting this. But anyways, here they are.


"Will there ever be another you?"

One day I met you,

But I did not know you.

Another day, I learned you,

And I fell in love.

Hard I fell, I fell for you.

And I prayed for you.

Then I waited and prayed more.

A long, long time I waited for you.

Then I had given up on you.

And then I heard about you again.

And I was elated.

I dreamed and hoped for us.

I fantasized about us.

Then you were gone, gone were you.

At first I wouldn’t believe it.

But I couldn’t hide my sorrow forever.

And now I wonder, I wonder, I wonder.

Will there ever be another you?

~Dedicated to Angel,

January 12, Tuesday, 2010

"Whispers"

I thought it [my heart] was beyond repair.

I didn’t even know if You cared.

You were silent.

I couldn’t feel You.

But then You whispered something I had forgotten.

You whispered that You love me.

You told me that You still care.

You told me that You have a plan.

You said, “I’m still God.”

And I know I can trust You.

I just forgot how much

You still love me.

~January 30, 2010

Following God's will

Sometimes, God asks me to do things I don't want to do. To follow Him blindly. Never to know where He's leading.

I watched a movie recently and one of the characters made a commitment to follow God's will. Ever since she made that commitment, the people she loved were dying. She was talking to another character who wisely gave the advice that she made a commitment to God, not a bargain.

Sometimes I guess I have to follow God's will even when I don't know where He's leading.

P.S. I guess I should change my template again, huh? =P

Remembering...and hoping...

I remember a year ago, almost to the day, I went to my riding teacher's house to help with the horses and lead them around so the "fresh air" kids could come out and have a blast. I am just remembering the little girl who wanted to ride Sassy. She was such an amazing little girl. Here is the post for that day. I was just remembering talking with her. I'm hoping that she remembered that conversation and maybe even remembers me. I hope that I made an influence on her life. I hope more importantly that Jesus made an influence on her. I really hope that she will have that with her the rest of her life. Oh, Lord, please make it so.

She is nine now. I wish she had come back this year, but she didn't. I just really, really hope and pray that God used me in her life so that she could come to Him. I remember talking with her about treating others at her school kindly, because Jesus said to. I remember her asking why Jesus died on the cross. I remember her talking a lot. It makes me want a little girl of my own (haha). But seriously. I fell in love with that little girl (call me sentimental or whatever you want). I don't think I'll ever see her on earth again, but I sure hope I see her in heaven. I wish I remembered her name...

Fears and realizations

Some short notes about yesterday. I had a wonderful time with my baby, Angel. She was perfect, as usual. I had a trail ride on one of the other horses, too. That was good. Then, I went hiking with my brother and his girlfriend. I took a bunch of pictures of them together. Then we went to see our old house in Appomattox. My little brother said that there was a subdivision in there or something, but when we got there, it was NOT a subdivision. In fact, just the opposite, and I'm not sure which idea would have made me most sad. It was probably my favorite house we have ever lived at. The sight we saw when we went was soo depressing. It was totally overgrown with weeds, grass, trees, everything. The house looks like it hasn't been lived in for at least a few months. There was a security lock on the door, too. We didn't see any for sale sign anywhere, unless it was buried under the weeds. It was one of the most sad sights I have seen in a long time. It was such a beautiful house when we lived there. The land is so pretty, too. Now it's totally over grown. I'm very sad about it. I miss that place, and it is so sad to see it so run down. *sigh* After that, we tried to find our way on the backroads to Grandma's house, but we hadn't been that way in so long, we couldn't remember how to get there, and somehow we got lost. We drove around for about 45 min. without knowing where we were and made our way back to our house. We never made it to Grandma's house. It's also really sad that we can't remember the way there! ='(


I am having an very interesting life. Some stuff going on that is making me question my motives in things. Sometimes I have to wonder if I am really doing what I am doing the way that God said to or whether I'm doing it for my own benefit. I really am having a hard last few weeks. I don't know what to do to fix it and make it easier other than talk to God. I'm trying so hard to keep going, but I can't figure out how to do it. I want so badly to hold on to God. I am trying so hard. But it's not happening. I'm slipping away. I feel like at any moment, I'm going to fall and break into a million pieces, never to be okay again. My friend told me a week or so ago that I don't have to hold on. I talked to her about how desperately I wanted to hold on. I don't want to slip. She told me that it's okay to let go. It's okay to let go, because God is gonna hold me. I don't have to hold on, because He's holding me. It's been a crazy life already, and I'm not even started on life yet. I hate to think how bad life can get later. I hope it can't get too much harder. I am really struggling with a couple of relationships right now. I am having a little trouble dealing with them because of circumstances and the way that people are or like to do things. I realized that I can't just drop a relationship because I "can't deal with it". I realized that it's going to get hard sometimes, but that doesn't mean it's going to be like that forever. I just need to let God do the work and hold on to Him. I just need to love people where they are and accept them. I just need to love them no matter what. I am feeling so afraid right now. I still can't let go and let God hold me. I am afraid to let go I guess. I want to, but I just am not sure that God is gonna be there if I do let go. In my head I know He says He is, but it just won't sink in. It's another trust thing. I just am not sure that I can trust him. Don't get me wrong, I know He's trustworthy. I know in my head that He is who He says He is and He will be there for me, but I just have so much trouble just trusting. I don't know why, I just do. I want to trust Him, and I know He's trustworthy, I just....*sigh* I don't know. It's just me, I know. There's no one else who thinks like this. Phooey. I know He says to trust Him and I know He's trustworthy, but I just don't know how to do it. It's so hard. I want to let go and let Him hold me. I don't have anything left. I can't keep going. I can't hold on anymore.

My strength is almost gone,
How can I carry on,
When I can't find You?
~Casting Crowns, "Praise You in This Storm"

I just feel like I'm so lost. I am out of strength. It is hard to carry on. Has anyone ever felt like God isn't there? It's so hard to tell the difference between God talking to me and me talking to myself, trying to make myself feel better or something. Has anyone ever had trouble telling the difference? I feel so hopeless. All I have left is to try to remember God is there. All I have left is faith. All I can do is believe that He really is going to hold me and believe that He really does love me and it's not just something I'm making up.




Even though I can't, all I can do is trust Him.

Yay

Welll....school is done for the year. That makes me happy. My bedroom is clean. One of my friends is having a good day (And I have a suspicion the other one is, too). It is absolutely gorgeous outside. God is alive and working (which is the best part!) . The dogs are okay. Most everyone I know is relatively healthy. My bathroom is clean....


Ahhh.....



Does anyone else think summer break is good? ;)


And the (second) best part about it all is that I am getting up early tomorrow (On first day of summer break! =P ) and I'm going to spend the whole day at the barn.


If this is what summer break is like...I'm never going back to school. =D

Anticipation

I have to post this picture again, because it makes me happy on a depressive day.



"Anticipation"




If anyone actually reads this blog, please tell me if you think my equine photography is any good!

Wow.

Ya know, I complain a lot. About the number of readers (ahem, commenters) on my blog, my schoolwork, my family, my friends, my lack of permit/license, things I have, things I don't...the list goes on.

I am just thinking about how blessed I really am. To have all of the readers I do. To be able to do schoolwork. To have a family. To have even the one or two friends that I do...I just can't seem to get it right. I'm always complaining, but in reality, I'm a lot more blessed that I think I am. There are so many people out there that don't have money for food, don't have families, don't have the "necessities" of life. Many of them don't even have God. How can I miss so much? How can I miss the "little things"? The little "blessings in disguise"?



All I have to say is wow.

I truly am blessed.

Thanks, God for everything. Thanks for sending your Son to die for me. Thanks so much God for blessing me with family, friends, and everything. Thanks for horses. Thanks for letting me ride as much as I do. Thanks for all the "little things". Thanks for who You are. You are so good to me.


(I apologize for the "preachy-ness" of this post)


(Okay, you know what? Forget that last sentence in parentheses. I don't apologize)

Psalm 77/At the foot of the Cross

Psalm 77

1 I cried unto God with my voice, even unto God with my voice; and he gave ear unto me.

2 In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord: my sore ran in the night, and ceased not: my soul refused to be comforted.

3 I remembered God, and was troubled: I complained, and my spirit was overwhelmed. Selah.

4 Thou holdest mine eyes waking: I am so troubled that I cannot speak.

5 I have considered the days of old, the years of ancient times.

6 I call to remembrance my song in the night: I commune with mine own heart: and my spirit made diligent search.

7 Will the Lord cast off for ever? and will he be favourable no more?

8 Is his mercy clean gone for ever? doth his promise fail for evermore?

9 Hath God forgotten to be gracious? hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies? Selah.

10 And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High.

11 I will remember the works of the LORD: surely I will remember thy wonders of old.

12 I will meditate also of all thy work, and talk of thy doings.

13 Thy way, O God, is in the sanctuary: who is so great a God as our God?

14 Thou art the God that doest wonders: thou hast declared thy strength among the people.

15 Thou hast with thine arm redeemed thy people, the sons of Jacob and Joseph. Selah.

16 The waters saw thee, O God, the waters saw thee; they were afraid: the depths also were troubled.

17 The clouds poured out water: the skies sent out a sound: thine arrows also went abroad.

18 The voice of thy thunder was in the heaven: the lightnings lightened the world: the earth trembled and shook.

19 Thy way is in the sea, and thy path in the great waters, and thy footsteps are not known.

20 Thou leddest thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.





At the Foot of the Cross-Tammy Trent

At the foot of the cross
Where grace and suffering meet
You have shown me your love
Through the judgement you received
And you've won my heart
Yes you've won my heart
Now I can

Chorus:
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

At the foot of the cross
Where I am made complete
You have given me life
Through the death you bore for me
And you've won my heart
Yes you've won my heart
Now I can

Chorus:
Trade these ashes in for beauty
And wear forgiveness like a crown
Coming to kiss the feet of mercy
I lay every burden down
At the foot of the cross

Lessons from God...

In the last few months, reading through articles, hearing the news, listening to people....

I have been honestly disgusted.
I have seen, heard, or read so many things that absolutely refute God and anything to do with Him. They abhor Him. I look through these things and I have to wonder where so many of them come up with their ideas. They disclaim everything that I have ever been taught about God. I honestly feel hurt that they would attack God in the ways that they have. I know I can't do anything about it personally, but I am flabbergasted at many of the people that argue against God. And I will resign my case here.

God has always been my strength to fall back upon. He has always been there, and I have felt His presence and seen His answers to my prayers. In the last year, I have felt so far from Him, and yet so close. I have honestly known Him better than I have ever known Him in the past.

In the past few years, I had known Him as God. I had known Him as someone who had died for me and rose again. I had known Him as a miraculous God. I had known Him as someone who said He loved me. I had known Him as someone who watched over me and protected me. I had known Him as someone that people I knew claimed as their Savior.

Even though all these things are true, that was only just skimming the surface of God. Oh, sure, I had had answers to requests I had made. Sure, I had been having a quiet time with Him every morning. Sure, I heard all these people who said all this awesome stuff about Him. But I have recently seen that I didn't really know God. I knew some things about God. But I didn't know God.

In the past year or so, I have gotten to know Him. Not just what people said about Him. My life has had more trials and temptations and fallings and pits than I had previously ever known existed. God has taught me about Himself. Some things that I would never have known were it not for my life this past year. It hasn't exactly been a smooth ride. In the past, I have had more blessings than I could count on a hundred people's hands. I had been blessed with so much more. I still have many of those blessings. But some I haven't had. Some I haven't been able to have. God hasn't seen fit to give me those just yet. And yet, through the valley, He has drawn me to Himself. He has shown me great and mighty things. He has taught me about His faithfulness. His unfailing love. His strength. His mercy. His grace.


I'm waiting on Him for things in my life right now. It has not been easy. It's been probably the hardest thing I've had to do in my entire life. Wait. It's a hard word to learn. And He asks that we wait patiently for Him. Don't tell me it's easy. It's not. I have had so many dreams, that with each passing day, seem farther off in the distance. Some of them may have even been shattered. Each day that goes by, I see more of reality and how unreal my dreams really are. I see how next-to-impossible my dreams are. Some people tell me to just "wait on God". "Our timing is not His timing" they say. "Keep waiting. It'll happen". But how can I know? All I can do is hope and pray and wait.


I have struggled with keeping hope for better things, too. Keeping hope that will not fail. I have lost hope. Hope is very hard to keep when there nothing to keep it going. Nothing. Except God. He is all that there is. But He has been there. He has not shown His timing yet, but He has been there. He is hope.


I guess I'm just posting my personal experience in the last year. I have honestly felt like I know Him and not just some "Father figure" everyone talks about. I'll admit, the more I learn, the more I see there is to learn. So don't think I have God figured out. I don't. But I love Him more every day. I have never known God with such a depth as I have this year. I am enjoying it. It has been rough. But the more I learn about God, the more I feel that He will pull me through.


This post didn't really come out the way I wanted it to, but I tried.

Kudos to the Sis...

Kudos to my big sis Kelly for this post.

Romans 8:22-25
"For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now. Not only that, but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body. For we were saved in this hope, but hope that is seen is not hope; for why does one still hope for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with perseverance."


This was an awesome day for this verse. =)

The Christmas Story

Matthew 1,2, 26, 27, 28, and Luke 1, 2, 22, 23, 24

I've included the last passages of Matthew and Luke because they are why Jesus was born in the first place.



I found a book in Barnes and Noble this morning entitled "The Purpose of Christmas". I turned it over to read the back cover and this is what it read:

Why is Christmas such a big deal?

If you stop to think about it, it is astounding that the simple, unassuming birth of a peasant baby boy more than two thousand years ago in the Middle East can today cause traffic jams every December in places like New York City, Tokyo, and Rio de Janeiro.

I never finished reading the synopsis because this was a truly amazing thought. It is amazing how the birth of a baby can cause such traffic jams for an entire month. People are so busy getting ready for the one day of the month they miss the entire purpose of the day. Perhaps some have never heard. Perhaps they just do it because it's expected. Maybe they have heard, and they keep forgetting. I suspect many, like those who have written "xmas" in place of "Christmas", just don't want people to remember. Many would have us believe that Christmas is about santa claus coming on Christmas eve. Many would have us believe that it's about showing the people we love that we care.

But the real reason for Christmas?


It's been lost in the business of the gifts, the stockings, the fireplaces, the food, the family time, the cards, the traditions, and everything else that's seeped in originally just to celebrate the Christmas season.


The reason that so many have forgotten is that Jesus came to earth as a baby. He came as a baby. That's an amazing thought. That such a holy, righteous God would come to earth as a little baby boy. That He would humble Himself to such an estate. He was and is a King. He could have come as anything. He could have come as a conqueror or a king. But He chose to come as a baby.


He chose to come as a baby.


What an amazing thought. And He came not to condemn us, but to forgive us. To live a perfect life and then die for our sins, that we might live for Him. That we might be saved through Him. I cannot begin to fathom the kind of love He had in His heart for us. To die for us. To forgive us for all the wrong things we have done. To still forgive us when we're so imperfect.

You know, we are so selfish. We don't want to forgive someone who may have borrowed our hairpin without asking. And yet, Jesus forgave all of us for every single thing we have ever ever done wrong.


"Wow" is the only word that comes to my mind.


How can I be so selfish and unforgiving of those in my life when Jesus forgave me for things that I deserve death for? How?


I'm speaking to myself here, so those who may get offended at anything I'm saying, please forgive me. =D Seriously, I have a lot of things that I need to fix about myself, and I'm not meaning to attack anyone personally.

I just wanted to remember the real reason for Christmas. The reason we're even here on this earth. It's not about presents, it's not about food, or traditions, or santa claus.







It's about Jesus Christ and what He did for us.

At the risk of regretting it in the morning...

I'm going to write about my life again. This is supposed to be a profound post. =P

Today has been horrible, as I mentioned earlier. I can't go riding on Friday...I'm trying to plan a surprise birthday party for my Mom, but nothing is really working...I didn't feel like doing school...I need to make a decision about college sometime...I gotta send out Christmas gifts...I gotta send out Christmas letters...I gotta make cookies...I gotta exercise..I gotta keep secrets...I gotta not be disappointed if I don't get anything for Christmas...I gotta be helpful...I gotta be friendly...I gotta be a good example...I gotta serve others...I gotta finish shopping...I gotta talk to so-and-so...I gotta finish this...I gotta finish that...(you get the picture)...


So I think it's all to much. I think my brain is overloading and rejecting all the things that I need to do. I might mention that I haven't been able to get up early enough to do my Bible time. I've been trying to pray throughout the day as the need comes or before I go to sleep or before I start the day. But I think I'm crazy busy. Not literally. Just in my brain. Between Christmas and friends and horses and dogs and housing and presents and family and sleep and promises and secrets and all the info that's overloading my brain, I've had too much.

I need to slow down and take some time with God. I need to pray. But even through my mind's busyness, I can hear His quiet whispers. He's been reminding me of His unchanging, unfailing love and how life is never hopeless with Him.

On Sunday, the message was absolutely wonderful. It seemed like it was pointed right at me. It seemed like it pointed to all my problems and showed me the answers. The message was from Psalm 107.

Psalm 107
1 Oh, give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
For His mercy endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,
Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the enemy,
3 And gathered out of the lands,
From the east and from the west,
From the north and from the south.

4 They wandered in the wilderness in a desolate way;
They found no city to dwell in.
5 Hungry and thirsty,
Their soul fainted in them.
6 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He delivered them out of their distresses.
7 And He led them forth by the right way,
That they might go to a city for a dwelling place.
8 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
9 For He satisfies the longing soul,
And fills the hungry soul with goodness.

10 Those who sat in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Bound in affliction and irons—
11 Because they rebelled against the words of God,
And despised the counsel of the Most High,
12 Therefore He brought down their heart with labor;
They fell down, and there was none to help.
13 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses.
14 He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death,
And broke their chains in pieces.
15 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
16 For He has broken the gates of bronze,
And cut the bars of iron in two.

17 Fools, because of their transgression,
And because of their iniquities, were afflicted.
18 Their soul abhorred all manner of food,
And they drew near to the gates of death.
19 Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses.
20 He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions.
21 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
22 Let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving,
And declare His works with rejoicing.

23 Those who go down to the sea in ships,
Who do business on great waters,
24 They see the works of the LORD,
And His wonders in the deep.
25 For He commands and raises the stormy wind,
Which lifts up the waves of the sea.
26 They mount up to the heavens,
They go down again to the depths;
Their soul melts because of trouble.
27 They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man,
And are at their wits’ end.
28 Then they cry out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He brings them out of their distresses.
29 He calms the storm,
So that its waves are still.
30 Then they are glad because they are quiet;
So He guides them to their desired haven.
31 Oh, that men would give thanks to the LORD for His goodness,
And for His wonderful works to the children of men!
32 Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people,
And praise Him in the company of the elders.

33 He turns rivers into a wilderness,
And the watersprings into dry ground;
34 A fruitful land into barrenness,
For the wickedness of those who dwell in it.
35 He turns a wilderness into pools of water,
And dry land into watersprings.
36 There He makes the hungry dwell,
That they may establish a city for a dwelling place,
37 And sow fields and plant vineyards,
That they may yield a fruitful harvest.
38 He also blesses them, and they multiply greatly;
And He does not let their cattle decrease.

39 When they are diminished and brought low
Through oppression, affliction, and sorrow,
40 He pours contempt on princes,
And causes them to wander in the wilderness where there is no way;
41 Yet He sets the poor on high, far from affliction,
And makes their families like a flock.
42 The righteous see it and rejoice,
And all iniquity stops its mouth.

43 Whoever is wise will observe these things,
And they will understand the lovingkindness of the LORD.




Notice how the phrase "Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
And He saved them out of their distresses" is repeated several times. I was reminded of how I need to look to the Lord when I need help and not so much to anyone or anything else. I was reminded that God loves me and that He's there, even when I don't make time to spend with Him. The pastor also told several stories about songwriters lives and how they came to God and why they wrote the songs they wrote. This one song in particular really got my attention because the writer wrote this at a time when his wife left him because she couldn't stand being an evangelist's wife any more. It's not the same, but it still hurts a lot when friends just don't talk to you anymore. Or even tell you why. And lately, I've been feeling a little upset that I pray for people who don't even notice my existence. I guess I've just been wondering why I even care when they don't even know I exist. Or they try to pretend I don't and ignore me. But I keep praying for them anyway. Because it's the right thing to do, I guess. Or maybe it's because I honestly do care for these people, even though the don't care about me. So God used this song to remind me that even though no one else may care, Jesus still cares.

No one ever cared for me like Jesus
Written by Charles Frederick Weigle

CHORUS
No one ever cared for me like Jesus;
There's no other friend so kind as He;
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me.
O how much He cared for me!

I would love to tell you what I think of Jesus
Since I found in Him a friend so strong and true;
I would tell you how He changed my life completely,
He did something that no other friend could do.

CHORUS
No one ever cared for me like Jesus;
There's no other friend so kind as He;
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me.
O how much He cared for me!

All my life was full of sin when Jesus found me;
All my heart was full of misery and woe;
Jesus placed His strong and loving arms around me,
And He led me in the way I ought to go.

CHORUS
No one ever cared for me like Jesus;
There's no other friend so kind as He;
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me.
O how much He cared for me!

Ev'ry day He comes to me with new assurance,
More and more I understand His words of love;
But I'll never know just why He came to save me,
Till some day I see His blessed face above.

CHORUS
No one ever cared for me like Jesus;
There's no other friend so kind as He;
No one else could take the sin and darkness from me.
O how much He cared for me!

You can check out the full story about Charles Weigle(or look further on google or something) here.

But anyway, God just spoke to me through this song and message. It was such a wonderful feeling. And I didn't really want to go to church that morning. But He knew I needed to be there. I can't express how much I needed to hear this. I was so glad that God can still speak through even little things. I haven't really wanted to go to church for the past six months or so because we haven't had a church that was doing me any good. I haven't heard a good message since probably 2007 when I was at The Wilds. So I've just tried to do what's right and go anyway. Not because I really wanted to, but because Mom and Dad were going and they thought it was the right thing to do. But I think can honestly say that for probably the first time in six months, I am at least looking forward a little to this Sunday. I can't really begin to write what God is doing in my heart. I have so many things that I have been struggling with and so many things that I have had so much trouble with.

Wait, trust, and hope are the three main things that I've had trouble really doing. In my heart, I want to. But to be honest, I think fear has something to do with it. Fear that my dreams will never be realized. Fear that God will not provide. Fear that God wants something for my life that I will hate. Fear that I will never have a horse. Oh, I know in my heart that these things are not true. But I just struggle with the whole concept of me wanting what God wants for my life. Maybe that's it. And maybe I'm just incoherent, like my sister said she was. It is midnight, after all. I have an excuse. =D But anyway, I hope someone actually reads this and will maybe comment on it.

Things mostly pertaining to Christmas

Okay. I'm deliriously happy now. Mom found my Christmas cds! Yay!!!!! I've been looking for them for a couple of months. They are my favorite cds. Even though I only have three. =(

Here are some things that I've discovered make me extremely happy.

Horses.
The smell of horses.
Riding horses.
Riding horses bareback. =P
Anything horses.
Four certain Cocker spaniels that are behaving(for once).
Getting gifts for people I love(except when I'm out of money).
Gifts from people I love.
Emails from people I love.
Finding Christmas cds close to Thanksgiving that I've been looking for.
Going Christmas tree hunting.
Pine trees.
The smell of wassail on the night we get our Christmas tree.
Drinking wassail on the night we get our Christmas tree.
Black and Blueberry Rush Naked energy drink.
Decorating Christmas trees.
Decorating for Christmas while playing Christmas music and drinking wassail.
Egg casserole(I'll post the recipe soon) for Christmas breakfast.
Reading the Christmas story on Christmas Eve.
Waking up to an early surprise of a movie and peppermint coffee on Christmas.
Getting the teddy bear I wanted in a box labeled for someone else. =D
Seeing nieces and nephews.
Walking on a cool day with my dog and my sis(not necessarily in that order).
Playing Christmas music on the piano.
Finding things packed away that I've been looking for forever.
When my friends call me. (hint, hint) (jk)
Taking pictures of horses.
Horses that are running in a field.
Popcorn balls for snacks for Christmas.
A perfectly beautiful, cool, crisp day with a breeze when I ride.



I think I better quit. This takes work thinking of all these things. ;-)

Gotta run anyway.

Daisy

This was so beautiful to see on a cool autumn day that I just had to take a picture of it.

A single flower.

And it was surrounded by leaves! I thought is was a very nice picture.

Praise Him!

Well, even though it may seem like it, the world has not ended yet.

God is still on the throne. God is still King. God is still in control of everything. God is still God. God has not forsaken us. God is and always will be I AM. He is "the great king over all the earth". Praise God that He's still in control. Praise God that we can still come to Him. Praise God that He doesn't leave us just because a democrat won the election. Praise God that His ways are unsearchable. Praise God that He is still King.

This is a day of rejoicing! I will rejoice, even though everyone else may be crying out in agony. I will praise my God because He has rescued me from an eternal death! I will praise Him because He is God. I will praise Him because He is higher than a president. I will praise Him because He loves me more than anything and he sent His only son to die for me. I will praise Him for the resurrection. I am praising the Lord for His love is higher and deeper and longer and wider than anyone's(Ephesians 3:14-19)! I will praise the God of the skies, for He is my very breath!


Praise ye the Lord!

Psalm 47

To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of the sons of Korah.

1 Oh, clap your hands, all you peoples!
Shout to God with the voice of triumph!
2 For the LORD Most High is awesome;
He is a great King over all the earth.
3 He will subdue the peoples under us,
And the nations under our feet.
4 He will choose our inheritance for us,
The excellence of Jacob whom He loves. Selah

5 God has gone up with a shout,
The LORD with the sound of a trumpet.
6 Sing praises to God, sing praises!
Sing praises to our King, sing praises!
7 For God is the King of all the earth;
Sing praises with understanding.

8 God reigns over the nations;
God sits on His holy throne.
9 The princes of the people have gathered together,
The people of the God of Abraham.
For the shields of the earth belong to God;
He is greatly exalted.

A blast!

I had a blast today! I went over to my riding teacher's house. First we talked a while, then decided we should get the horses run around the ring. So anyway, instead of around the ring, we just started making them canter around the field. They were running across the field, it was so cool! We brought them in and put the in the ring. I got some pictures and tried to go back to eat, and Rocky came over to the fence and started acting like a baby(cause he didn't want to work). So, instead of getting out of it, he decided to pose for pictures and eat my camera. Later we tacked all the horses up for the group we were ministering to and I rode Rocky some on the trail and he was so funny. Being his typical self, he had to try and eat some of the foliage along the trail. I wouldn't let him, so he got mad at me. I swear that horse was trying get me on his good side, but I wouldn't fall for it. So he pinned his ears back and grunted at me. He was irritated at me. After the group got ready to leave, the two girls and I cantered the horses around the ring once. Then we untacked them. I remembered that I wanted a picture with Rocky, and so I got my camera and one of the girls to take them. Then I put Rocky back in the field. My riding teacher offered to let us stay and ride a while longer, so we went out and got the other three horses that weren't used. I rode Angel. She is a flea-bitten grey Arabian and they were telling me she was a high energy horse. She hadn't been ridden in months(which meant she would have some kinks and stuff) because her owner didn't really have time for her and she was being boarded there. So we caught the horses and put them into the ring. Then we ran Angel around to get some of her kinks out. She galloped full speed around the ring and she looked gorgeous! She almost ran me over because she doesn't really watch where she's going, so I had to be careful to stay around the edge of the ring. But after running her, the two girls went into the paddock to tack up and one of them told me I should get to know her a little before bringing her in. So Angel and I just hung out in the ring walking around, talking, and being affectionate. I had her turn in little circles and backed her and just played around a little. Then I took her to tack up. I began to brush her as I always do before riding and she just loved it! She doesn't get much affection either, so she was kissing and leaning and rubbing all over me! She enjoying it so much. I tacked her up and got her into the ring. After a few minutes of making sure all the tack was on right, I mounted her. She did great. So trotted and walked her around a lot before picking up a canter. She had such a smooth trot! But because she hadn't been ridden in a long time, she had choppy, sometimes uneven gaits. She was a little unsure of her gaits. But she did great for not being ridden in a while! When I was almost finished, I decided to get her to do one more canter. She decided she didn't want to do it. She tried to kick out/buck me. I stayed on because it wasn't a very hard kick. But after several tries of this, she finally gave in. She picked up a canter for me and we went around. Afterwards, I brushed and groomed her and untacked her. Then I gave her a treat. I took her to the ring because one of the girls asked me to because she wanted to work with her. So I took her out to the ring and shut the gate. Then I took off her lead rope and let her go. She didn't leave me. She decided to trust me, I think. I tried to head out the gate, with her still standing where I left her. Then I continued to say goodbye. She came over to the gate. I kissed her nose and had to go. But I think she decided she liked me.

(Click on photos for full view. Blogger won't upload them any smaller for me.)

Check facebook for more photos. They are in the albums titled "Equine photography".